Since Seven
by My Silver Angel Wings
Summary: Since she was seven, Bella has been abused, and tortured. After her parents were murdered and she taken. A police force found her chained to a wall. What happens when a family of vampires become her foster family? ExB Canon pairs! ABUSE RAPE! CAUTION
1. New Kid Coming

"_No! No more, no more, not again! PLEASE!" I pleaded to the faceless men with my rough, coarse voice. I could never see their faces, just shadows, it was too dark. _

_They moved closer, bringing with them the reason of my voice. Boiling water. They liked hearing my try and scream and instead spitting out the blood of my throat. They loved to torture and mutilate me. I t was their kind of fun, the only thing I've known since I was seven._

_I tried to push myself into the wall, to make myself disappear into the stone cold walls of the corner I call home._

"_Push her head back, Joe" The one with the large mug of water ordered._

"_Sure thing, Joseph!" He stepped up to me and pulled my head back roughly be the hair. _

"_Joey, Joe, which one of you would like to have the honour today?"_ _He said with a sarcastic smile. Knowing they'd both say yes and he'd get to do it anyway. After he did so, the hand in my hair tightened. I knew what would happen now. Joseph moved closer to me, taking the steaming cup, which he needed a cloth to hold it with, and put it an inch from my face. Even from that distance I could feel the scorching heat, knew what it would do to me and keep me from doing. He placed his other hand on my jaw and pushed inward. I struggled, but not much, I didn't have much strength after not eating for three days straight. Unable to keep my mouth shut, it popped open involuntarily._

"_Don't worry little Isabella, this won't hurt.... For too long!" He started laughing hysterically as the liquid fell in a sparkling, steaming stream-_

"Isabella! Wake up, now! We have my council lunch today. I need you to make our meal."

My current foster mother was now shaking me awake from my usual nightmare. Mrs. Newton wasn't the worst one I've had to far. And I've been going through foster homes for eight years. She just wanted me for cooking, cleaning and other household stuff. As long as I did what she asked I didn't get beaten. Or at least, not very much. Most of my other foster parents just beat me for fun. At least she let me eat everyday, unlike my last home. She was staring at me right now. Oh right she was waiting for me to answer her.

"Yes, ma'am. Of course, I'll be down in five minutes or less." I responded, knowing she doesn't tolerate tardiness.

"See that you are!" She snapped leaving the cellar I slept and lived in.

Sitting up slowly I looked around. Four stone walls looked back. Nope, nothing has changed. I got up and walked to the small bag in one corner and started to take out an old pair of jeans, but I was roughly pulled back and turned around. It was the Newtons' son, Mike. I never really liked or trusted him. He seemed to look at me weirdly. Now I knew why.

As he pushed me against the stone behind me, I saw the gleam in his eyes. Lust.

"Hello, Isabella. I think I'd like to _**talk**_ to you for a minute. I haven't had nearly enough time to do that in the first month you've been here." I opened my mouth to scream, but he covered it with his hand. "Now, now, Isabella. You don't need to go and do that, I know how much you want this, I really do! I've seen the way you look at me." I glared at him with disgust, and a little bit of fear. I only had on a small pair of biking short and a thin T-shirt on from sleeping. He backhanded me when I started to struggle. "Don't pretend Izzy. That's your new nick name, just between me a you. My pet name for you because that's what you're gonna be. MY pet."

He knocked my head just hard enough to make me need a moment to collect my self. As I did he quickly closed and locked the door. I could feel the fear wanting to break out, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I wouldn't make any noise at all, then maybe he'll find me too boring. I hope.

I was wrong.

He stalked towards me and grabbed my arm to throw me to the ground. I knew there'd be bruises in the morning. Putting his foot on my stomach, he leaned in close enough for me to smell his rancid breath and said, "For as long as you live here, you are MINE." Before I passed out from the pain.

EBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEB

~~* Carlisle's POV*~~ {2 Years later}

I knew Rosalie wasn't too happy abous taking in foster kids again, but I had hoped she's be used to it by now. We've been doing it for nine and a half months. But it's always the same thing. And it's time to start again.

"Kids, I have to tell you something." I said softly. They'd still hear me. A second later they were in front of me.

"Another one?" Edward asked. _Stop reading my mind Edward. You should know better by now._ He looked at me with a smirk, "Sorry, Carlisle, just a habit"

"YEEEESSS!! It's a girl! We're finally taking in a girl! Thank you Carlisle, You're the best!" Alice screeched beside Edward. I wish they'd stop doing that. It's get's annoying after a while.

"I'm getting a baby sister? Sounds like fun! Now Alice can drag her shopping and not take us guys all the time!" Emmet smiled. He will always be himself. He stretched and put an arm around Rose's shoulders. She just kept looking down.

"Carlisle," My life, Esme called quietly, "Are you sure we're ready for another so soon. I mean, we just finished cleaning up the mess those twins made. I don't think they'll trust us after what they did."

"He already talked to them Esme. They said the twins do that at any house they're in, it wasn't our fault. Now they're making sure to give us a well behaved kid. And apparently," Edward told us, then looked at Alice, "That kid is a girl."

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** Okay so this is my very first fanfiction story. I hope my grammar and spelling are okay!!!!! **

**I know you must have better things to do but please review!  
**


	2. Memories and Songs

**Thank you, everybody! I love each and every one of you. I'm shouting out to my first 18 reviewers, that's how excited I am!!**

**So, thank you : EdwardandME, xxx-Sarah-xx, MaralynneKWitlock, HiddenKoala, thelambtoedwardslion, Angel JJK, Abby-Witlock-Hale-Cullen, xXxjacobloverxXx, KristineKu, enlitenKaka, The Lycans Are Rising, creamsoda92, I'llAlwaysBeInEdwardsColdArms, Gothic Saku-chan, jasperluvr95, nluvwithemmettcullen, dragonsong94, laxer77.**

**Thank you!**

**P.S. Long names take long to write!!! Oh well!!**

**P.P.S. I forgot to put this last time! I sadly - *Sob, sob* - do not own twilight of it's characters. If I did, I would have the rest of Midnight Sun and could rub it in your faces!! (Only kidding, I'm not that mean! X..X)  
**

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~~*Bella's POV*~~

I didn't hurt so much anymore. The Child Services people finally decided I'd had enough time at the Newtons and thought they should find me a new home. Why did they take two fucking years to figure that one out?! After they picked me up two weeks ago, they told me they already had a new home for me. Today I get picked up. Every time I hear that, I can't help but assess anyone that walks through the door. I have decided they're not coming. It's already five-thirty in the afternoon. **(Or evening? I'm not sure so whatever you think)** No one would want me unless I was assigned to them and even then, they'd only take me for the money I bring. I wonder what kind of work my new 'parents' will want me to do. Or what kind of punishments I'll receive for not doing it. Because that's always the first thing I do. Disobey them and figure out what their reaction is. Then I know the right parts of me to shut down. My body, my spirit or my mind. It's usually my mind and body. The only time I have ever shut down my spirit was with the Newtons. And Mike....

_**Flashback**_

"_I'm back Izzy. Do I get a Welcoming?" HIS voice whispered. _

_He'd been gone for almost two weeks on a football trip. Those days without him were heaven. No, they were even better than that. If there is something better than Heaven? But he was back now, he wanted his fix. It was eleven PM but he just couldn't ait until I had the energy to fight him. Oh, no he had to wait until I'd cleaned the whole house, made all the meals, did all the laundry and was about to go to sleep._

_I was pulled roughly out of my own mind by him ripping the thin, scratchy sheets of my barely clothed body. Yeah, can you imagine how stupid I must be to forget he was coming home and trying to sleep in my underwear? Very, very stupid._

"_You look ready for me Izzy. Were you waiting up for me? Yeah, I'll just bet you were. Don't worry, you won't be disappointed." He grabbed my ankle and I kicked out at him, catching him on the jaw. He grunted. I may have been tired but I wouldn't go down without a struggle. Taking hold of my other foot, he pushed both onto the futon under me and sat on my legs. He slid his hands up my thighs and I shuddered, repulsed my his touch. But Mike, being Mike, took my shiver as encouragement and, putting both my wrists above my head with one of his hands, used the other to feel his way up my side. Even though I knew it was usless, I tried to pull my hands out of his. I failed. Then his hand was reaching behind my back to unclasp my bra. I could now feel my spirit pulling itself out of my body. Once it was done I saw him realize he would have to let go of my hands to get it all the way off. I knew it would be my only chance, but I couldn't make myself reenter my body. When He did let go, I just lay there, staring at ceiling. I knew it was already too late, I wouldn't get away tonight. And probably not tomorrow either._

_I didn't want to watch anymore. As he scratched his nails down my shoulders and breasts I hid my spirit far into a corner of my mind, where the darkness was a friend, not an enemy's ally._

_Flashback over**_

I stood up suddenly, giving up on waiting, and made my way to the backroom, where Ben and Jerry were hanging out. They are my favorite people in the whole world right now. They were the ones to bring me out of myself when I was brought back here that first day. I wouldn't talk to anyone or even look at them. I just stared at the ground. The two boys had come in then. I didn't look at them either, I completely ignored them and I guess no one had ever done that before, so they were a little put out. They were all smiles though, when I finally did look at them as a reflex reaction to a direct "hey!" in my direction. The first thing that popped into my head was "twins" but then I couldn't help but think, they looked funny.

They were both blond haired and blue eyes. They were soooo cute. Now, I know what you're thinking. 'She likes them, she thinks they're cute. Isabella and the twins, sitting in a tree!" **(And I know you WERE thinking that! lol)** But the thing was, they were cute and I did like them. They were also about eight years old! And all I could think after that was, 'AAWWWWWWW!!!!!'. and then I felt terrible because they were foster children too!

They were both looking at Renee, the social worker. Then one of them said, "Lady, I want to live with the pale people again!" And that was that. Once the one said that, they were both talking so fast I'm surprised she didn't shout at them. Instead she smiled and told them they couldn't, I was going to live with them. All hell broke loose.

They both turned to me shouting and yelling about how cool they were and what fun they had and how much they wanted to go there again. I started to feel tears at the back of my throat but pushed them way out of the way. I promised myself I would never cry after the year of me being taken but before the police found me on a drug bust.

They were shown an illusion. They probably didn't understand what was going on. No one was really nice, it was always just for show. Just for the audience.

The boys were sad when I told them I was going to the front, but I hoped to get a better reaction when I see them.

Pushing open the door, I saw they were... Well, they were gone! The only things in the room were my notebook and my ratty old bag. So I shrugged my shoulders, grabbed my last pen from my bag and sat in the corner with by book, starting to write a song.

**(The stuff in Italics are song lyrics 'kay? ^.^)**

_Paper flowers_

_Paper flowers_

_I linger in the doorway_

_of alarm clocks, screaming monsters calling my name_

_let me stay_

_where the wind will whisper to me_

_and the raindrops as they're falling tell a story_

_In my field of paper flowers _

_candy clouds of lullabies_

_I lie inside myself for hours_

_and watch my purple sky fly over me_

_Don't say I'm out of touch_

_with this rampant chaos, _

_your reality_

_I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge_

_the nightmare_

_I built my own world to escape_

_In my field of paper flowers _

_candy clouds of lullabies_

_I lie inside myself for hours_

_and watch my purple sky fly over me_

_Swallowed up by the sound of my screaming_

_cannot cease for the fear of silent nights_

_oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming_

_memories of imaginary lights_

_In my field of paper flowers _

_candy clouds of lullabies_

_I lie inside myself for hours_

_and watch my purple sky fly over me_

I had just finished the song, writing it down, when the door flew open. I jumped a foot before realizing it was only Charlie with people I was going with.

Ben and Jerry were right. They were pale.

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**This chapter's pretty long cuz I might not post for a few days. I'm going to my dad's. I'll try but, no promises!! I hope you like this song! It's called "Imaginary" by Evanescence. Not mine, but maybe I'll put my own poem in soon!**

**Reviews, reviews! If you don't then, " ,.l.. " you AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Just Kidding!!!**

**Silver (that's what I call myself!)  
**


	3. Compounded Chapters 3 & 4

~~*Esme's POV*~~

Carlisle had finally gotten the kids to settle down and I was feeling a little excited. I now knew this time we would be taking in a female foster child. Though it was sad to find out why she was in foster care. When I had gotten off the phone with Renee Mageeta **(Ma-ji-ta) **last week I wished, not for the first time, that I could cry. To lose one's parents at such a fragile age of seven must have been difficult. I felt close to her already, what with both of us losing someone we loved. At least she didn't try to take the easy way out. Then Mrs. Mageeta told me of her personality. Not a very bright and happy person, as I can imagine, and she doesn't like light colours. I made sure to tell Alice, just to keep her from going girly, and together we decided on the appropriate decor. I really hope she likes it!

Even though we live in Forks, we like to have the kids from seattle, that way the long drive gives us a chance to talk to them. In a few minutes Carlisle and I are going to be at the child services building to meet our new daughter. I'm so excited!

"Are you you ready, my dear?" Carlisle asked me as we pulled into the parking lot. I turned to look at him, with the biggest smile on my face.

"Ready? Of course I'm ready! I'm so happy and just can't wait ti meet her!" I told him in a rush.

"Calm down, sweetheart. You're starting to sound like Alice does when she's going shopping" He chuckled softly, placing a hand on my cheek. He gave me a light kiss on the lips andopened his door. I opened mine and we walked to the door hand-in-hand.

Upon entering the building, I caught sight of someone. I spoke loud enough for human hearing, "Excuse me! Can you help us?" I asked the man. He turned and walked towards us.

"Hi, I'm Charlie Richards, But please, call me Charlie. What can I do for you?" He smiled and gave a small wave before putting his hand into his jeans pocket.

"We're here to pick up our foster child. I think Mrs. Mageeta said her name was... Isabella?" Carlisle looked the part of a confused human. It could almost be funny, but I was too excited to laugh. **(And no, Charlie and Renee are not married, but they are dating. Hence the different last names!)**

"Ah, yes, Isabella Swan. She's in the back room, I think. Right this way!" He turned to walk and called back at us. We followed his and, as we did, I thought he could tell us some more about Isabella.

"Charlie," I started, hoping he wouldn't think of it as prying, "What do you know about Isabella?"

"Almost nothing, really. I just started working here last month and she hasn't really spoken to anyone since she arrived here. She only seems to talk when you ask her a direct question and even then she keeps it down to as little words as she can. I think she's just extremely shy, so don't feel bad if she doesn't start hugging you and chatting with you right away. It might take her a bit to get used to you, you know?" He explained this all to us. We had finally made it to a door at the end of a long hallway. To humans at least.

I said to Carlisle, too low and fast for human ears, "Do you think being shy is really the reason. Remember what Mrs. Mageeta told me about her on the phone. Could that possibly have anything to do with it?"

"Possibly," He answered back at the same speed, "Now let go meet our new daughter!"

Charlie opened the door quickly and we stepped inside. A girl that was sitting in the corner of the room jumped up, tense, then visibly relaxed. She was very pretty with deep brown eyes and dark brown hair that reached past her shoulder blades. She looked like a perfectly normal teenage girl, except of the fact that she didn't seem to have any real possessions. And worn out shoes.

"Isabella," Charlie walked forward, missing the way she flinched when he said her name, "I'd like to introduce you to your new foster parents.... um," He just seemed to realize he didn't ask us our names, then he shot out, "Oh, right! The Cullens, This lovely couple are the Cullens." Then he turned to the door, embarrassed and said, "I'll just leave you to get acquainted and be back in about ten minutes." He walked out, closing the door.

I looked back at Isabella and Carlisle took a few steps towards her and introduced us, "Hello, I'm Carlisle and this is my wife Esme. And you are...?" he looked at her pointedly.

She looked at him then,** (she was staring at the floor after knowing who opened the door)** and said to us, "You already know my name" Or whispered it might be a better description. If we didn't have our vampire hearing, we might not of heard her.

"Yes, dear, we know what Charlie told us. But we would like to know what you call yourself. Would you tell us? Please?" I asked her nicely

"Bella" she answered looking at the floor again.

I walked up to her, put a hand on her cheek **(Esme is wearing gloves) **and pulled her into a hug. She went rigid. I pulled away. "Welcome to the family" I said.

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**(In the car, after all the paperwork is finished and they're on the way back to Forks)**

I had, numerous times, tried to draw Bella into conversation, but she remained silent. She wasn't ignoring us, I knew she was listening, but she just wouldn't answer. So I gave up. We drove in silence, giving her time to adjust to us.

When we were finally coming down the road to our home, I turned to look at her.

"Bella, Were almost there. I just want to warn you, you'll be meeting you other five siblings so you're not too surprised. Okay?" I asked hopeful she'd respond.

"Other siblings?" She squeaked, looking up with slightly panicked eyes before she seemed to push away the emotion.

"Yes other siblings, didn't they tell you we'd already adopted five other children?"

"Noooo... But it's fine, don't worry about it." She assured me, her voice going back to the flat tone she used at the child services building.

"Okay, but if things get too overwhelming, just tell us and we'll give you some time, alright?" I pleaded with her as we rounded the corner of the really long driveway.

Bella gave an almost inaudible gasp, even to us. Then quietly whispered, " 'kay"

~~*Bella's POV*~~

After finding out who was at the door, I looked at the granite floor. Charlie and my new foster parents entered before Charlie spoke.

"Isabella," I flinched at the use of my full name. Only the faceless men called me that. And Mike, I shuddered inwardly, would call me Izzy. He continued, "I'd like to introduce you to you're new foster parents... um," He forgot. That made me want to laugh, but I didn't dare. I wouldn't know what kind of trouble I'd get into for it. "Oh, Right!" He shouted, startling me, "The Cullens, This lovely couple are the Cullens!"

I heard him turn away and take a few steps. They were leaving, thank God! But then, "I'll just leave you to get acquainted and be back in ten minutes." He was leaving me alone. With them! Who knows what they could do to me in ten minutes! Oh God, oh God, he's leaving.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts and internal screaming that I didn't hear the door shut when Charlie left.

"Hello, I'm Carlisle, this is my wife Esme. And you are...?" The man asked. He had such a beautiful voice, definitely not to be trusted. And he doesn't even remember my name and it was just told to him.

I finally figured out that I'd need t answer him at some point, so I looked up. And stared. He was gorgeous, as was his wife. It's no wonder they were being allowed to have me. It's always the ones that look the nicest. But I still needed to answer so I told them softly, "You already know my name"

I didn't expect them to hear me, but then the woman said, "Yes, dear. We know what Charlie told us, but we would like to know what you call yourself. Would you tell us? Please?"

She asked me so nicely, so I told them I liked Bella. Any other name and I think about the bad times. Then I realized, if they did something bad to me now, then even my parents' special name for me would have bad memories. I froze at the touch of her gloved hand on my cheek. _She's going to hit me now._ And went completely rigid when she pulled me into a hug.

I hadn't had a real hug since my mom and dad died. Not a hug when I felt safe in. And I didn't know why, but this woman I didn't even know yet, made me feel safe. I felt like crying, but pushed the feeling away. I wouldn't cry. I've always prided myself on not crying, no matter what was being done to me. And I can now say, I haven't cried since I was seven years old.

I wanted to cry even more when she welcomed me to the family. I'm rally going to have to be on guard when I'm with these two. It going to be a difficult year at least.

~~~~***~~~~

We went through paperwork and all sorts of other things because, now that summer is almost over, I have to be signed up for school. In Forks. Where HE could be. I hope he doesn't find me, or remember me. But with my luck he will. I still remember the last day I was going to be with them. He came to my cellar way early in the morning, just so he'd have enough time...

_Flashback***_

_The squeaking of the door woke me up. It always did. Or at least, it did now. I was happy or somewhat happy. I was leaving today. After two years in this hell house I was leaving. But that meant HE was going to hurt me bad so I would remember him. Like I could forget._

_The sound of footsteps brought me out of my musings. I had taken to recognising footsteps, so I'd know who was coming. These were HIS and they were heading this way. I thought I'd be ready for him. I was wrong. Because before I could do anything to prevent, he had cold steel pressed against my neck. I knew what it was. It was the kitchen knife I used to hide under the futon for when he went overboard and was going to kill me. I don't know how he found it but he did. And now he was using it against me. Telling me not to scream or struggle, I felt a line if the nauseating smell of blood run down the side of my neck. I just hoped he'd get it over with and not draw it out to long._

_I didn't care that I was going to die. I just wanted to have a peaceful death. So he'd better make it quick. Only he didn't slit my throat like I thought he would. No, he used it to cut away my shirt. He was going to rape me again, I realized. Now he was getting my bra off. I was scared. He never needed the knife before. He was stronger than me. Maybe not very tall, but being a football player gave him some muscles. Enough to overtake a frail female like me. But he did have a knife and I knew he wouldn't be satisfied with just a bit of rape. He wanted to hurt me. Well I wouldn't cry. I would never cry. Especially for the likes of HIM. He was at my shorts now, cutting them off easily. I'd only have one pair of clothes left after this. And I was almost out of underclothes, with him ripping them off all the time. I used the last of my money for pregnancy pills because I didn't want to get pregnant with his child. He just finished removing my underwear._

_I was starting to get worried. He never took his time; always rushing to make sure his mom wouldn't catch him. Not like she'd care, but whatever. His free hand squeezed my breast painfully, while the one with the knife slid down to my stomach, leaving a tiny trail of barely visible red. Then right before he plunged, the took the knife and dug a line from the outside of my hip to the inside of my knee on my right leg._

_Flashback Over**_

My hand traced the healing soon the scar cut. I didn't bleed anymore, but every one in a while it hurt. And still, I never cried. Or cried out.

Esme was telling my something again. I ignored her until I heard other siblings.

"Other Siblings?" I squeaked. I panicked before I calmed myself down.

"Yes, other siblings. Didn't they tell you we have five adopted children?" She asked.

_FIVE?_ "Nooo.... But it's fine, don't worry about it." I'll try not to worry too.

She said something else but all I did was give a slight gasp and whisper okay. Their house was huge. Maybe, maybe they'll be places I could hide in.


	4. Accidental Memories

**Helloooooo around there!**

**So here's the situation. It is 1:57 AM right now. I couldn't sleep and had a brainstorm. I'm not actually supposed to be on the computer right now, but I love you live that. So If you're reading this, say thank you in your review, please???!!!**

**Anyway, On with the story. Of with the characters of twilight and Twilight itself, I do not own. :'(  
**

**All Italics on Bella's POV are memories!!!!**

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Opening the door of the car, and it was a really expensive looking too, I stood in the driveway, with my ratty bag thinking_, _great, I'm given too a bunch of rich people with the money to cover their past. I hope to whoever wants to listen that they won't need to use it in relations to me.

Esme and Carlisle lead the way up the drive and steps. The gardens here were so pretty. I wonder how much they paid to make it look this nice. They brought me though the front door and I braced myself for the first meeting. What I didn't brace myself for was an empty house.

"They aren't here yet, Bella. Alice and Rose are shopping, they dragged the boys with them. But they should be back soon, so why don't we get you settled in before they get here." Esme explained to me. Then she took me to a door down the hall. It wasn't upstairs and I felt twin emotions of fear and relief. Relief because they wouldn't be able to hurt me by pushing me out my window, and fear because it made me wonder what the plans they had for me were where they'd put me in a first floor room.

From the corner of my eye I saw Esme intertwine her fingers with her husband. Breathing in deeply and holding my breath, I slowly opened the door.

"_Enjoy your room, bitch!" The woman laughed. Then with a well placed boot on the small of my back, I went flying down the basement stairs. After the first painful few thumps, there was the blessed darkness I've come to love so much._

"What do you think?" Carlisle asked from somewhere.

"It's nice" I replied. Nice? It was completely, absolutely and tottally awesome. But I wasn't going to say that. They'd expect more from me if they knew how much I liked it. So I went with standard answers when they talked about the four poster bed and dark purple and black and grey paint job. The decor was movie set worthy. How much did they spend on it? How much would I owe them for it? What would I owe them? I couldn't pay them in cash, but maybe I could cook. I've gotten very accomplished in cooking since that was something they all wanted from me. Or I could clean everywhere for them. Then again, It doesn't look like the house needs it. I don't know what else I could do! Wait, she said they had sons. No, God no! Please don't let them be thinking that! I'll do anything but don't give my to you're sons! I pleaded to her silently.

"_I'm glad to like your room. Since you are thirteen, you need your own space" The couple told me together. They seemed nice. "The only thing you need to do Is keep our eighteen years old sons happy." I stared at them, partly in confusion, partly in fear. I prayed that they meant cleaning their rooms, doing their laundry and making them food. But as it turns out..._

...I was so wrong.

I snapped myself out of my head and placed my bag inside the room. I walked to the window beside my bed. Looking out I had a view of the driveway. And of the car pulling into it at that very moment.

Warily I turned to the couple outside my door. "There's a car coming p the driveway..." I trailed off at the end,

"Wonderful! The kids must be back. Come and meet them." It was a command. I followed them against my better judgement.

Standing in the front foyer - and that's what it was, a foyer - I clasped and nervously wrung my hands. First I head muffled voices, then a few shouts, a little laughter, and last the door knob turning. The first to file through was a small pixie like girl. She danced through the doorway, squealed, ran towards me, stopped for a split second, then held out her hand.

"I'm Alice!" I hesitated, then shook her hand. It was cold, but I didn't mind all that much. Next was a tall blond boy - man - whatever - he was very tall. He looked kinda pained, but it was hidden well. He also walked up to me and shook my hand.

"Jasper" He spoke quickly. Then, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, stepped over the threshold. Golden hair flowing down her back, she could be a model. She glanced at me, and looked away with disdain. It didn't matter. It was better when didn't pretend to like me.

"Rosalie, be nice." Alice chirped from beside Jasper. I ignored whatever her answer was. I didn't really even see the next one in. He'd passed me and was around the corner too quickly. What I did see was the look the others passed between them.

Then all I could fell were really strong, big arms around me. The panic kicked in immediately. Before the flashbacks stared I faintly hear someone go, "No, Emmett don't!" They started.

"_Hold her from behind! I want a nice clean line across her stomach. No fuck ups, okay?" I still couldn't see the faceless men, but I could hear them perfectly. They were gonaa do something to my tummy. "C'mon little girly, be nice and still for Joey and I'll be sure to make it clean and straight."_

_The pain started slightly under my left collar bone and slowly made its way down through the middle of my chest and the father across my stomach to my belly button. They were covering my mouth so the only sound I could make were whimpers._

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"_Don't you remember what dad said? You need to keep us two happy. So open your mouth. Timmy push her head down a little farther while I unzip myself." He ordered his brother. With one arm around my arms and waist and the other gripping my hair and pushing on my head, I couldn't move. I wanted to , you have no idea how badly, but just couldn't. I shut down my mind, I wouldn't need to think then. I felt his __**stuff**__ - I haven't learned about that yet - pushing at the seam of my lips. I didn't want to open them. To taste what was supposed to be his special place. Strangers weren't supposed to be allowed to touch down there. But they made my mouth open. They forced it on me._

I felt the arms let me go and I blindly ran in the direction of the door. I didn't know where I was going, but I had to get away. Far, far away. I didn't take the path of the driveway, but threw myself towards the trees. The branches were scratching at my face and clothes. I couldn't count how many times I fell down, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything. All knew was if I didn't get away, I'd lose control. I couldn't speak, or even open my mouth. If I did, I'd either cry like I promised I'd never do, or scream forever, until I had no voice. So I ran. I only stopped when I could no longer feel anything down past my hips. I had no clue where I was, or how far I'd gone, but even still, I kept moving. It was barely a walk, but I couldn't make myself stop. Eventually I came to a clearing. It was pretty big and had a pond. Those were the only things I could make out. It turns out, I had run until it was dark. Now I forced my legs to take me to the pond. Cupping my hands I allowed some water into them and took small sips. I would be sick if I drank it too quickly.

When I was no longer thirsty, I lowered myself onto my back and quickly fell asleep. And from what I could remember, dreamt of nothing.

~~*Edwards POV*~~

After Carlisle and Esme left, Alice had several vision, of witch I did not feel like joining. She finally came to the conclusion that the best way to meet her so far would be to arrive at our home after them. That she'd be more comfortable. So when it was almost time for them to arrive in Forks, I called Carlisle, let him know what was going on, and we drove away from the house for an hour or so.

After what seem like forever of waiting, Alice gave me the go ahead to start driving back. Rose was sulking in the middle back seat, while Alice beside her was bouncing. For a vampire, she acted the most human, without needing to act as much. Jasper, ridine shotgun was as calm as ever, trying, unsuccessfully, to calm Alice. And Emmett, looking almost as ridiculously excited as Alice. I tuned into their thoughts.

Alice: _New sister, play dress-up, go shopping, new sister!_

Rosalie: _Why do we need another stupid human in OUR home? We don't want them!_

Jasper: _I hope I don't mess up. And I wish alice would calm down, I can't make her._

Emmett:_ Dude, I can't wait to meet my new little sis! I'll be an awesome big brother._

I smiled at Alice's thoughts, not surprised. Frowned at Rose's, she could be a little nicer. Let a wave of Confidence and trust towards Jasper and smiled again at Emmett's thoughts, too. Then we were pulling up to the house. Then we were all out of the car with Alice leading the way.

We were all silent until Em tried to trip Jasper. Then there were some insults, a little shouting, a bit of kissing - but not for me - and the Alice was opening the door. We decided to go in one by one, so she'd see us individually first. I heard heard her introducing herself to Isabella, no Bella, before tuning out again. I don't like peeping.

Next went Jazz. I caught snippets of how good her blood smelt to him, but nothing more than that.

Before me was Rose. She Ignored the human and was reprimanded by Alice.

Then it was my turn. The only problem was, on my way in the door, the most mouthwatering, delicious smelling blood reached my nose. I knew if I got close to her for more than a nanosecond, I'd kill her. So I booked it. I know it's a juvenile phrase, but it's the only one to describe what I did. And I ended up in the kitchen, where she hadn't been yet, and had resolved to myself to stay there. That is until I heard Alice shout, "No, Emmett don't!" And through Emmett's eyes I say the brunette female take off out the front door and disappear between the trees. Then Em thought one thing, _Shit._

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	5. Over The Boundary Line

**I'm sorry! Don't run me over with Emmett's Jeep! I need to live so I can write more!**

**Now that I'm done begging, I'd like to be proud to say, I think I like this chapter. On my WordPerfect, It was exactly a full 5 pages. That makes me happy!**

**This chappie, in case you don't pay attention, starts from Edwards POV.**

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I couldn't help but be afraid for this unknown girl as I walked back into the front hall. I could still smell her, it was very strong, but with her heart not beating right next to me it wasn't as hard.

_Oh no! I must have hurt her. I didn't mean to, she must be more fragile then she looked because I could've sworn I barely squeezed her in that hug..... Maybe she just doesn't like me, or thinks I'm ugly. God, I hope she wasn't scared of how ugly she thinks I am! No, it couldn't be that, we never look ugly. We're all supposed to be perfect._ Emmett was rambling on about why she might have run from him when I got to the room. He was also pacing, something I've never seen him do.

_Edward, where'd you run off to? You were worse than Rose was! You knew Esme wanted us to make a good impression. You can't do that if you're not even here! _Alice was mind shouting at me as well as giving me a lecture.

I ignored her.

"Emmett, you didn't hurt her. Not physically anyway." Jasper told him, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop his pacing. Emmett looked up confused.

"whaddya mean 'at least, not physically', Jazz?" He asked. Confusion was edible in his sentence. I was curious now, I could also see everyone else's curiosity and feel it thought Jasper.

"Her feelings, just a second ago were... strange... to say the least. When Alice walked in she was wary, then fearful, then relieved. Then I came in. I wasn't really paying much attention to her emotions then. I was focussing on not killing her. But I caught a few strands of fear until I was standing behind Alice. With Rose, there was only acceptance, that was something that made absolutely no sense at all. She was slightly confused when you, Edward, shot passed her. That though, is quite understandable. Then Emmett. She wasn't felling much because, Em, she didn't see you come in. When you wrapped her in a hug, a normal reaction for a human would be surprise and maybe some sort of startled noise. Her reaction, though, it was... it was all wrong. She felt..It was." I watched as he struggled to find the word, even in his mind. "Panic. It was full blown, mind numbing panic. And when you still hadn't let her go, fear." Jasper stared at all of us, waiting for one of us to shout out the answer to his unspoken question. Then he was looking at me.

_What was she thinking, Edward. It might help._ He asked quietly in his mind.

"I didn't try to. I was busy trying not to kill her too." I shrugged, then looked sheepishly at the admission I made about my control.

"But Edward, you're one of the strongest people here, aside from me, of course. Why would you need to work on controlling yourself. I know she smelt better than most but... Could she be your singer?" Carlisle asked me.

"My what?" Singer? Why would she be MY singer? I didn't even know if she sang.

"Your blood singer, Edward. _La tua cantante._ The one whose blood calls to you." Carlisle told me and everyone else. _If she is, that makes her your soul mate_. He thought, knowing I was listening.

"I - I don't know what... That's impossible. My soul mate. HA, yeah right. She's human!" I half shouted.

"Aha! Eddie's got a girlfriend. And he hasn't even seen her yet!" Emmett was roaring with laughter, so I couldn't stop myself.

"Shut up, you idiot. If you haven't forgotten, you just scared her off!" I snapped. Instantly I felt sorry as I watched his face fall and started to look like he wanted to cry.

I didn't mean for that to happen I just wanted- "Hey, where'd Jazz ans Alice go?" I stopped suddenly, looking around the room.

"They started to follow her, to make sure she's safe." Esme spoke for the first time during the argument-slash-discussion.

"I suggest you call Alice and find out where they are. Then you need to take her and Jasper's place because if she is your singer, she should trust you more, I think." I just stared at Carlisle. Be within three feet of her. Is he crazy? I could kill her!

My phone rang. It was Alice. I picked it up.

"You won't kill her Edward. If you follow ours and her trail, you'll find her in a small clearing. She's sleeping so, try and get there before she wakes up" Alice spoke quickly through the phone, then hung up before I could answer.

I figured it was easier just to go along with it, if I didn't, Alice would just keep pestering me until I gave in anyways.

"I'm gonna go look for her. I'll call when I find her and one of you can bring the jeep." Like Alice I didn't wait for an answer, I just ran out the door, following Alice, Jasper and Bella's scent.

I was running for while, following all the twists and turns their scent made, when my phone rang.

It was Alice. I pressed talk and put the phone to my ear, slowing down.

"Edward! You have to hurry! Bella's future just disappeared. I think she's going to die. I don't know how, I just know that if you don't find in a few minutes, her future is gone." she half shouted, half dry-sobbed.

I felt the fear and anger towards whatever kills the girl, and crushed the phone in my hand.

I ran again, faster than before. Now I was relieved I agreed to look for her. I was the only one fast enough to be able to reach her that quickly.

A few seconds later, I burst into a clearing, her scent stronger there. She must have stopped to rest. I could smell her blood, but I knew I didn't have time to admire it. I had to find her first.

I kept running. Faster.

I was getting closer, her scent was getting stronger, thicker. It had taken all my strength not to drop to the ground and try to lick up the drops of blood that had most likely come from scratches. It seemed like she had started slowing down, and since it hadn't rained it hung onto everything. I hope she got tired and sat down. It would give me time to find her.

I wasn't paying attention. So engrossed with my thoughts, I didn't see where her scent was leading me.

I screeched to a stop.

Right there, in front of me, was her scent running right across the stupid boundary line.

Fuck!

~~*Bella's POV*~~

I felt consciousness returning, and then my mind was racing, trying to figure out why I was lying in grass. _Maybe I was kicked out of whatever house I'm living in._ Then I realized I didn't just wake up,I was woken up. By a mosquito buzzing in my ear.

Suddenly images were flashing before my eyes. The family, greeting me, the shaking of hands... the big arms around me. Running and running and running.

I had to keep moving.

I got up. I didn't know which way I came into the clearing from, so I just chose a random direction.

I stepped back into the trees to give my eyes time to adjust to the darkness. Then I started walking, but when I heard a noise coming from my left, I ran right and tried not to trip. I knew I already had a couple times before falling asleep, I had scrapes and scratched from my hands to my elbows, as well as my knees.

I had been running for about ten minutes when the trees stopped. I was in front of someone's house. It looked old. Sort of.

I wanted to knock on the door, see if I could get a ride back into town. Then I thought, I don't even know where I am. And why would they help somebody like me? A "stupid little orphan"who wouldn't even let a female doctor touch her anywhere but her hands.

Yeah right.

But I needed to get back. If they didn't have a reason to hurt me before, my new family sure does have a reason now. So I took a deep breath, mustered up whatever courage I seemed to have left, and walked up to their front porch.

Knock, knock. _Please don't answer. Please, pretend you don't hear me. No wait, you have to hear me, I need to get back. Please answer the door!_

The sound of a lock being...Well, unlocked. The knob turning. _I'm not scared. Don't show you emotions Bella. It won't do you any good. They can't hurt you too much._

The door opened to a man in a wheelchair. "Yes?" He asked me, his voice kinda gruff.

I swolloed. "Hi, um... I'm Bella and I was kinda, well... I was taking a walk in the forest and got lost." _Lies. _" I don't know how long I was in there for, but when I finally made it out, I was right across from your house." _Sorta truthful_. " I was wondering if you knew a way I could get back to Forks... Where am I?" I pushed out in a rush.

"You're at the Reservation, just outside Forks, called La Push. I can get my son to drive you into town, but he won't be back for another twenty minutes of so. Would you like to wait inside for him?" He told and asked me politely.

I was a bit wary of who his son was and waiting in his house, but I had no where else to go. So I nodded. He wheeled himself out of the doorway and made a motion, telling me to come in.

"I'm Billy Black. You said you name's Bella. What's you last name?" He wondered curiously.

"Swan. Bella Swan. What about your son?" I wanted to know more about him before getting into his car alone.

"Jacob's his name. He's sixteen, but he was given a early licence to help me get around. Can't drive a car without working legs!" He laughed at himself, settling his chair in the livingroom to watch TV.

I wish I could laugh at myself like that. Then again, what do I have to laugh about. I though depressingly. I also wondered what was going to happen to me when I get back to the Cullens house.

Coming up with different scenarios in my head, I didn't hear the door open.

"Who are you?" A voice asked. I swear I jumped ten feet in the air.

"Hey Jake! Welcome home. This is Bella, she needs a drive back to Forks. I said you'd take her." Billy called from the living room.

"Oh no, that alright. You don't have to if you don't want to. I could walk. It couldn't be that far." I was out of breath after not taking a proper one during the talking I did.

"Don't worry about it Bella!" He clapped a large hand on my shoulder twice then moved away. I held back the need to cringe and the memories that wanted to surface. He turned to look at me with a boyish smile. "I have no problem driving you. I just finished building The Rabbit and needed a chance to drive it."

I just nodded, trying to figure out what The Rabbit was, but not wanting to ask questions.

He wave at me to follow him outside. I turned to leave, "Bye Mr. Black, and thank you!" I called and walked out the door.

I didn't hear what Jacob Black said to me while I walked down the driveway, but I s miled a little just to make it look like I was listening. I opened the door to his car, which I guessed was "the rabbit" he was talking about, sat in the seat and put on the seatbelt.

"Bella, where do you live?" Jacob asked me, starting the car and heading down the driveway.

"Um, I'm actually not sure where exactly it is, but I'm living with the Cullens." I replied. His hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"Why do you live with _them?_" He bit out.

"I'm there foster child." I told him in a tone that said I didn't want to talk anymore. He got the hint. The rest of the drive was take in silence.

When We got to this tiny road on the side of the one we were on, he stopped.

"This road is the _Cullen's_ driveway. This is as far as I'll take you. You're gonna have to walk. Sorry" he said, reaching across me to open the car door. I held my breath to keep my voice from sounding at such close contact.

"It's fine. I don't mind. It's not too dark out yet" I stepped out of the car, and walked to the side road. I turned back but the car was gone and so was he.

Picking my was down the road as quietly as possible, I kept hoping they'd of gone asleep. By the time I made it back to the house, it was completely dark. I prayed the door was unlocked. It was. Opening the door slowly, I crept inside. I was proud of myself for not falling and hurting myself. Or waking everyone up. I was glad–

"BELLA!" A voice screeched.

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**I hope you thought it was good. Sorry it took so long. **

**Stupid creative juice. I ran out and needed to buy some more. Now I did. I hope it lasts longer than last time.**

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	6. I Will Find Out

** This one isn't very long. In fact It's extremely short, but I have to clean the kitchen and my room, and clean up the garbage that my stupid dog pulled apart, so don't get mad!**

**I hope this will help you, with what, I don't know, but enjoy the tiny chappie!**

**I don't own these people or the Twilight story. SM does so, HA!  
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"BELLA!" A voice screeched.

I spun towards the staircase. There was shadow in the shape of a girl. Then I recognized the voice of the hyper-active person I met earlier... Whenever.

Crap! She knows I'm back. No one else seems to be up. She's tiny, but... tiny can do a lot of damage. Especially when they tattle.

"Alice... Right?" I hoped I got her name right.

"Yes. What the hell happened? Why'd you take off? Everyone's still out looking for you! They made me stay here in case you came back. And you did!" She was suddenly in front of me. "Oh, look at you! You're a mess! Let's get you cleaned up, then you can tell me why you ran off when Emmett hugged you." She dragged me up the stairs to her room, and looked at me with determination. " And you will tell me." I nodded quickly, wondering how I could make up a lie that fast.

Alice was out of her room and back with antiseptic and bandaids in a flash. She sat me on her king-sized, white bed and and used cotton balls to put the medicine on my scrapes. It stung a lot, but I'd had worse. I didn't even flinch. No noise made it past my lips.

"Sorry if this hurts, there's nothing I can do" She placed a cold hand on my arm as she rubbed the cotton across it. It wasn't as bad as it looked when bloody, it wasn't even worthy of the bandages she brought.

"It's fine Alice. Barely even feeling it." I told her truthfully. Sh looked at my strangely, the focussed on her work again.

"Okay, now that you're sitting, what happened." I breathed evenly in and out, hoping to seem calm outside. On the inside, my heart beat wildly in my chest, my mind running a mile a minute. Then it came to me.

"About a year ago, I was with some friends and they were going to introduce me to a cousin of theirs. Only he was really big and strong. And I mean, Body-Builder strong. So, he went to give me a hug. I was facing away from him and it surprised me. His hug was too strong, squeezing me to hard and he fractured a few of my ribs. I don't like being surprised, especially when it involves being hugged from behind. Happy now?" I told and asked impatiently. She looked at me suspiciously, but I kept up my facade.

"If you say so Bella... but one day soon, I will find out all your secrets. You can count on that" She warned me. I knew the story wasn't all that great, but she could at least pretend to believe me.

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**Yeah, I feel bad about the stupid short Chapter but this was all I could get done today.**

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**I was able to get on again, so I decided to just add this tho the same chapter instead. I hope you guys love me for this!!

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After being cleaned up, I went down to my room, put on a pair of long pants and a long sleeved cotton shirt, both in black. Then I went to bed.

The only problem was, I didn't stay that way. The memories have easy access to you when you asleep, unprotected. At first it was dreamless. Then I was back in that small little room...

**(WARNING: GRAPHIC SCENES! WILL BE TOLD WHEN SCENE IS OVER)**

I tried to pull on the chains again, hoping to slip my seven year old hands though them. The dried blood on my wrists and the cuffs cracked, spilling more blood down my arms. Maybe if the blood could make my hand slippery, it'd be easier. It might work... or not. I kept tugging though, too desperate to stop, I was going to go insane if I didn't get out soon. I could hear them on the other side of the door. Laughing and joking. About me most likely. They got to eat too. I only got a cup of water every three days. I jerked my hear up when I heard the doorknob turn, then let my whole body sag, to make them think I was asleep or unconscious. The door opened, the three men, Joe, Joey and Joseph, entered the room. I couldn`t see them, as I had my head down, but I could hear them. Laughing at me and telling each other what kind of punishment they were going to give me. Joey wanted me to be whipped with his own studded belt. Joe wanted to pour boiling water on my back and watch it blister. Then Stab the blisters open. But, as always, they did what Joseph wanted. They unlocked my cuffs, where they figured out I wasn`t asleep, because of the fresh blood on my arms. Crushing my wrists in his hands he whispered to me that he knew I was awake, and now, because I was playing pretend, I would get an extra long punishment today. I didn't say anything. My throat still hurt from the water two day before.

They pulled my over to the stone slab they had in the room, and strapped my arms and legs down, spread out like a stars five points. Then they did something they hadn't done before. They bolted a leather strap onto the table and tightened it around my neck. Now I really couldn't move and I was deathly afraid. Then Joseph held up a nail. No not a nail, a screw. Barely half and inch, but it still scared the shit out of me. I didn't know what they were going to do. The he took the screw, went up to my forearm, and placed the very pointy, very metal tip against my skin. I knew what he was doing now and, for the first time in a month, I tried to struggle. Not that it did anything whatsoever, but the point is, I tried. Then he told me, since they can`t screw me with their bodies, they were going to screw me with screws. Then slowly, very, very slowly, he twisted the first screw in. I tried not to scream, I was, but I did whimper. I also sobbed, but without any tears. I didn't have enough liquids in me to do so, so I was dry-sobbing. Joe and Joey then started helping. Soon I was covered in blood as they twisted screws into my body one by one... or three by three. When finished with my front, having placed a total of forty-seven screws in me, they untied me and told me to flip over. I didn't move. I was terrified of the pain it would inflict on me to do so. I trembled with the force of my fear. Both my arms and legs were bleeding unstoppably as well as my pubic area and stomach. They finally got fed up with my inability to move and flipped me over theirs selves. I was right. The pain was excruciating. I couldn't help it. I screamed, spitting up blood from the burns in my throat. Then I knew nothing but darkness and the pain. Because, even in the dark, my pain follows me. There's nowhere I can hide "Bella". There's no where I can run, "Bella!" And there's no way to escape. "BELLA!"

**GRAPHICAL SCENE IS NOW OVER!!**

I shot up in my temporary bed. In front of me was the whole family, but Carlisle, who was kneeling beside my bed. He was the one who was calling my name. But all of them were looking at me concerned in their pajamas.

"oh, God. Was I screaming? Did I wake you guys up? I'm sorry! I'm so stupid. I can't believe I did that!" I started panicking, thinking of the pusishment I'd get for waking them up too early. I looked at Carlisle, hoping it wouldn't be too bad. He put his hand on my hair and I forced myself not to move or cringe. I deserved whatever punishment I get.

"That's not it, Bella." He told me softly. "Alice came in here to wake you up for breakfast, but you were still alseep, so we had it without you and saved some for you. When she came up to wake you again, you still wouldn't respond. She was worried and came to get me. Everyone else wanted to make sure you were okay. We were up long before now." He soothed, he ran his hand down my hair, then shifted to stand up. "Okay, guys, out. Alice, would you make sure Bella breakfast is heated?" She nodded and left my room behind the boys, who whe went out slouching. "Esme, I'd like to talk with you before you take Bella school shopping, okay?''

When they had all left, I got out of bed, confused at how nice they were. No one yelled at me, or amde me feel bad. Then again, there was still time. Afterl that dream, I needed to let some emotion out before it explodes. I took out my note book. I'd ahve to buy a new one, my little leather bound note book was almost out of pages.

I sat on a chair by the window and started writing-

_You scream  
you cry  
you wish you would  
die_

_But no one can  
hear you  
No one will  
listen_

_The pain grows  
too large  
to handle alone_

I couldn't handle it, but I had to live because it's what mom would've wanted.

_But no one can  
help you  
the words just  
won't come_

_Surviving is the  
only thought left  
_

_To shut youself  
down again  
the same  
as before_

For weeks after I was found I did nothing but what the specifically told me to do.

_Wihtout the peace  
the darkness  
gives  
You know you'll  
run out of  
reasons to live_

_They don't  
understand  
the hurt you've  
gone through_

They always say, "I understand, you don't need to worry". But they don't. They never will. Did they spend two months being tortured for pleasure? NO! they didn't.

_They might ask  
but the questions  
come much  
too late_

_The voice you  
had is  
no longer there_

_For the people  
around you to  
ever even hear it_

_Because it's  
gone and  
won't come back_

_The strenght of  
your voice._

I put my notebook away, hidden at the bottom of my bag and headed out to the kitchen to have breakfast.

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**So what do you think. The poem Is MINE! I WROTE IT A MONTH AGO! It's called Voice.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it! Can't wait till the characters tell me where they want to go next!**

**The next Chappie is from Alice`s POV.**

**Have a nice evening,**

**Silver.**

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	7. Emmett and Edward

**I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SO SO SORRY! I meant to update sooner. I had to go to my grama's cottage, i thought I'd be able to update from there. The problem is, when I got there, the internet stopped working, so I worked on this Chapter anyways. Now that my Aunt is here, she fixed the internet and I can update!!**

**Also, I know I said this chapter would be from Alice's POV, but she wasn't ready to voice her thought. To anyone but Edward, of course. So here's another from Bella's. I hope you like it.**

**My friend has a request to an advertisement. .net/s/4459338/1/My_Half_Life This is by my friend- Melyssa the Screaming Dragon. I hope you'll check it out and enjoy it!**

**I need to ask, Have any of you readers been tubing? I just went thins week and it was awesome!!!! Did you all see fireworks on Canada Day(Canadians!!) or will see them tommorrow for July 4th? I hope you enjoy(ed) them!!!**

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I woke up slowly.

Making sure I was alone, I opened one eye the slightest bit and looked around me. I was on my bed. No, my temporary bed, in my temporary room. How'd I get here? Wasn't I in Alice's room? Feeling up my arms and legs, I was sure I didn't have any broken bones there, and only a tiny twinge was felt from my almost perfectly healed cut. Well, not perfectly, as there will still be scarring.

Sitting up, I knew my ribs were also safe, as were my back and neck. My head though, was a different story. It was throbbing like HE did when… DO NOT think about it! The door to my room was closed, but I could hear whispered voices on the other side. Even though they were close, I could only make out some of the conversation.

"….."

"No, we shouldn't bother…."

"…But…"

"You… Carlisle said…. Listen to what…."

"….Problem is…. No one should…. Was her fault…."

I was so confused, being able to hear only half the conversation. The voices were retreating again. I needed to know as much as I could about theses people I'd be living with for the rest of my Child-of-the-State life.

Flashes of memory chose that moment to intrude on my mind.

_The big hug… running through the forests… Jacob hating the Cullens… Alice… the stairs rushing by… Cuts being cleaned… "I will find out"… Nightmares... Family staring down at me... Standing on my bed... the floor rushing towards me..._

Then nothing.

_Aha!_ I hit my head. That's why it hurt so much. At least I didn't fall down the stairs.

Now that I knew what happened I felt safer. I opened my bathroom door for the first time… I think, and gaped at the sight before me. It was so _clean_. It had purple tiles with black grouting, a black sink and claw footed tub. I also had a separate shower that was a dark grayish silver and had multiple shower heads, including one that said 'rain' on it. I could just guess what that was for. It was the walls though, that bothered me the most. It made me uncomfortable because they were made up entirely out of mirrors. And the last thing I wanted to do was see myself and my deformed and scarred body. But I wouldn't tell them. No, I don't want them to think I'm ungrateful. I would just ignore my own image. Because this was the most beautiful living place I've even been in. I tried to stop myself but, I had to see myself for a second. So I looked into a mirror.

Oh God, my whole forehead and left cheek was purple and black. How could one run in with a door cause that much damage? Now I couldn't leave my room. If I did, I'd be laughed at. Wait, why does that even bother me? Why do I care what they think? Jesus Christ, I wanted their acceptance! God Dammit! That's not supposed to happen, not when I'm so worthless. I mean, sure, if I was worth something It'd be a different thing completely. But I'm not and never will be. _Maybe they won't laugh... Okay, I'll do it. I'll leave my room and go outside to somewhere._

I left the bathroom and walked quickly to the door. Then I stopped. My legs didn't want to carry me any farther, to the outside of this door. I looked down at them and realized why.

I wasn't wearing pants. I was in a pair of shorts. Dear God that means one of them had to change me into the shorts. They would have seen my healing scar. They were probably disgusted.

I changed back into pants fast, and walked back to the door. Taking a deep breath, then another, I opened the door. I heard talking near the kitchen, so I headed in that direction. Upon entering the room, I noticed a person I had yet to meet. He must've been the one to hug me. He was also a GIANT! Or, at least, he was when compared to my small 5'3" frame. He also had an excessive amount of muscles. Scary looking muscles. Everyone looked up at my arrival.

Then the big guy, Emmett I think his name was, started laughing at me. A big, booming laugh.

I didn't want it to, but it hurt. I turned on my heel and left the kitchen. But I wasn't out fast enough to not hear him properly chastened.

"What's wrong with you?! Didn't you do enough damage yesterday, Emmett? Did you have to ruin it again today?" A female voice lectured him.

I couldn't hear his response, though, I was already closing my bedroom door. I planned on staying there all day, but I heard a quiet knock on the door.

"Hey, uh… Bella? It's Emmett. I just wanted to apologize?" I sounded like a question, "For you know, yesterday and, uhm, this morning, or... erm… right now. I was just- Excited!- to see you, and you did look kinda funny with that huge bruise on- OUCH! Hey what was that for?!" He sounded so sweet. I wonder who hurt him.

"You know, telling her stuff like that, about the bruise, isn't going to help your cause any. The one where you want her to accept your apology?" A quietly amused, obviously masculine drawl told him.

"Dammit! I'm so sorry. Okay? Sorry! I didn't mean to... I didn't mean it if I… What I'm trying to say is," He started again, sounding frustrated, "Would you please give me another chance? Even though I know I don't deserve it. Would you?" I let the door open up a crack. He was standing there looking pained, but when I opened the door, he looked straight at me, and pouted. That's right! The giant bear was pouting. It looked so silly and ridiculous, I started to smile. I tried to stop myself, I swear, but the smile turned into a grin, and the grin into a giggle. I actually giggled! My hand slapped over my mouth to hold it in, but I knew he heard it because he grinned at me and pleaded with his eyes at me to open my door all the way. And, damn my automatic reactions, but I did!

But when he took a step forwards, I lost my grin, my hand dropped from my face and I took my own step back. I was wary and cautious again. I turned away and walked to the middle of my room to focus and get a hold on my emotions again. When I turned around, I was one again smiling. It wasn't a real one, mind you, but he didn't need to know that. Then I saw who the other person was. It was Jasper, the blond male. He was staring at me as if he knew my smile wasn't real and was waiting for it to disappear or fall off. I turned my attention to Emmett again. He was looking at my strangely, but then he gave me a pleading half-smile.

"Am I forgiven?" he asked excitedly. I nodded. His grin was almost too big to fit on his face. "Can I give you a hug now?" he looked like a little kid, and sounded like one. But he was still big. And strong. I steeled myself and nodded again. Then I was swept up like the first time, into big strong arms. And I felt oddly and strangely safe in them. Though it wasn't a good idea, I relaxed in them. Then I had to shake off this weird sensation of extreme calmness. I started to feel lightheaded and pushed at Emmett's huge biceps.

"Can't breathe… No air…" I struggled to escape his grasp and fought off the need to panic. I was instantly let go of.

"Sorry, Bella! Guess I don't know my own strength." It sounded to much like a question to be true. I was instantly put on my guard at the deliberate omission. And they knew it, too.

I needed to know their secrets if I ever wanted to feel near safe in this house. I turned my head to look at the door. How fitting it was to see Alice standing there.

"Bella! Bella, you neeeeed to eat NOW! I'm going to take all day to get you ready for school. You need a whole new wardrobe. It's going to be soooo much fun!" I blanched as I watched Alice practically jump up and down.

"Please, Alice? Don't make me go! I'll be good I promise! No shopping, never ever!" I pleaded. In fact, I think I was actually begging! The last time I went shopping anywhere but Goodwill, I knew I couldn't afford anything there. Plus it was all too... happy for my tastes.

"Why not Bella? I like shopping, and you need school stuff." She pouted. It wouldn't work on me. It's been done too many times by various people I've met over the years. Though I have to admit hers was the best I've seen as of yet.

"Yeah, school stuff, fine. Notebooks, pencils, pens. I didn't think that included a bunch of new clothes and stuff. Just the nesseccities. I don't need the rest of it. Besides, I couldn't afford it." I stared her in the eyes. In her very golden, very alike to her ADOPTED SIBLINGS eyes and told her.

"But Bell-uh" she made the second sylable more pronounced, as well as her growing-in-potency pout. "I really, really, REALLY think you NEED a new wardropbe for school. And you wouldn't have to pay. We're family now, which means you share our money!"

I was dumbfounded for a moment. Share their money? Were they trying to make my indebt to them. Did they want me to be so they can collect it at a later date? So I zeroed in on her face, took a deep breath and said, "No." as clearly as I could. The look on her face, and the boys' were priceless. And then the rest of the family were at the door as well.

They took one look at The three of their faces, then at me, and just laughed. Then a male voice from someone I couldn't see started talking to Alice.

"She actually said no to you! Ha, she's probably the only person in existance that can resist your personalized pout! I only wish we had it on camera!" The voice was gradually moving closer. Then he stepped out of the family crowd. I think he said something else, but I have a feeling I was drooling.

He was most likely one of the most gorgeous of all the male species. Tossled, bed head bronze hair that was made for fingers to comb through. A body that Adonis Himself would die for, with lean muscles that were visible when he moved. THE most kissably full lips that could belong to a guy! And his eyes... I could just stare into his beautiful... Golden... eyes... known to- WAIT! Golden eyes. The same ones that were on Alice and Jasper and... yep on the rest of his family too! That's why they couldn't be trusted. They have secrets. They're all much too pretty not to. All the good looking ones do. No ogling until I know what their secret is.

Something poked my side. And again.

"OUCH! What the hell?! Alice, stop poking me!" I glared at her. Then I looked up and saw everyone staring at me. I could feel the heat coming. I hoped I'd be able to beat it down this time. But Alice just HAD to answer my question.

"Bella, you totally just spaced out while looking at Edward." Yup. That did it. My first blush in two and a half years. WHY?!

I couldn't look at anyone, but I could here them chuckling at me. Okay, I knew I could be funny when I fell, but couldn't they at least wait until I'm gone till they laughed at me?

I stalked to my bag and took it with me to the bathroom. I didn't really need to take a shower but, as long as it gave me time to control myself I didn't care. How could I have been so stupid! To look at another guy. So what if he was cute and gorgeous and hott. That didn't make him good! Just look what happened with... with, HIM! I couldn't even say any of their names. That's how bad it was. I just hoped my birthday came sooner than later. Only a little while longer to wait.

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**So I hope you enjoyed that. Is it long enough, or should I make my Chappies longer? Either way, the next one is Shopping With Alice. Also, what did you think of Bella's reaction to Edward. Was it good enough. Because I wanted her to lose herself for a bit. If she didn't, we'd never get anywhere. So FEEDBACK!**

**Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, ****Reviews, PLEASE!**

**I know, I know. I want reviews.**

**But I still love you guy more!**

**Silver.**

**P.S. I have a Idea for a new story. I night post a bit in the next authors note.**


	8. I'm SO SO SO SO Sorry!

**Yes I know you're all going to hate me, but I got grounded and won't be on for the next little while.**

**I'm not sure how soon I can update, but I'll try!**

**I know you were hoping for a chapter, but Instead I'll tell you that the next will probably be in Edwards POV. or Maybe Alice's. I'm not sure which 'll do first.**

**HELP???**

**Silver.  
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	9. Convincing Bella

**Hello, my loves! **

**I was able to sneak onto my computer to put this up so soon after my announced grounding, so Applause? please?**

**Anyway, here some Alice, she finally wanted a turn! I hope you like, though it's not too long. (didn't have too much sneaking time) but I hope you like her trying to wear Bella down!**

**Enjoy.  
**

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~~*Alice's POV*~~

I can't believe she stared right at me and said no! If it wasn't for Jasper, I'd still be in shock. No one, and I do mean NO ONE says no to Alice. Nor do they bet against me. Why is she different? How is she able to resist me? How am I going to make her go shopping with me?

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

"_Ugh, Fine! You win Alice, I'll go. Just stop buggung me. And you will NEVER touch my notebook again!" Bella was shouting at me as her notebook dangled between my fingertips._

"_THANK YOU, BELLA! We'll have so much FUN!" I squealed..._

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

I surfaced from my vision with a grin of wicked intent. Any of my family members that saw the look on my face would know I had something planned and would steer clear. Except the love of my life, of course. He asks what I'm planing before he runs away. Which is what he was about to do. I had already seen it.

"Alice, honey," He stared as I turned to face him, "What are you going to do? And Whatever it is, will it be painful?" His eyes asked as much as his words did.

"Only the people who dare to say no to Alice!" I chirped with false innocence. He nodded, knowing he was the farthest from able to say no to me. Then he took off.

I heard the water turn off and Bella getting out of the bathroom, so I ran to the door and got there in less than a second. Not that she needs to know that.

"Bellaaaaa?" I drew out. When she answered with a 'what?' I continued, "Will you please come out shopping with me?"

"I already said no." She snapped at me. _They all say that. I'll get to her eventually._

"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, I wanna go with you!" I made my voice sound like a winy child and spoke as fast as I could within human hearing. "It'll be really, really, reaaaaally fun. I promise!"

I could hear her groan from the other side of the door. I knew she was dressed by now, so I knocked on her door, waited a second and stepped into her room. She was wearing ratty old sweat pant in an ugly shade of grey, and an oversized, dark puplre sweater. I don't know why she would when we didn't have the A/C on and it was really quite hot outside. Then I remembered why she wouldn't wear shorts. The scar. I had seen it last night. When she went to sleep, I couldn't bear to see her sleep in the clothes she was wearing. And she WAS going to do that. So, I went in during the middle of night to change her into a pair of my stretchiest shorts. It was awful. I couldn't imagine her doing it to herself, but I didn't want to wake her up to ask her. I couldn't see if she'd tell me either, which was very annoying. I left her there to sleep instead. Now I couldn't help but wonder if she had stuff like that on her arms, which would then be the reason she wore long sleeves.

Now that I think about it, which barely takes mila-seconds, I think I remember seeing many little dotted scars as well, though I didn't really count the amount there. _What could have caused them?_

"Ahem, Alice? Why exactly did you just enter my room and stare at me for no reason?" Bella interrupted my train of thought. I found my voice quickly.

"Because your clothes are terrible! Look at them! I knew I was right to insist on getting you some new ones. Now you don`t have choice. You. Must. Go. Shopping. With. Me.`` I gritted the last six words through my teeth. Then added, Ànd I won`t stop annoying you until you do!``

She looked at me like she didn`t believe me, so I went to prove my point. My voice like a kid again, I kept asking her question. Some to do with shopping other to do with her stuff. Not that she had much.

"Please Go shopping with me! Please Go shopping with me! Please Go shopping with me! Please Go shopping with me! Why is your bag so small? You need more clothes. Can I but you more clothes please? I want to get you more clothes. Will you go with me? I think we should go shopping. You need school stuff too. I`ll get you school stuff. And clothes. Please go shopping with me? Please Go shopping with me? Please Go shopping with me? Please Go shopping with me? Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please? You have pretty eyes. What this?" I picked up her old leather notebook, "It looks old. I could get you a new one. Let's go shopping!"

"Ugh, Fine! Alice, you win, I'll go! Just stop bugging me. And you will NEVER touch my note book again!" She shouted at me. I kept the notebook in my hands. Unlike in my vision, I could hear the desperation in her voice. _What's so important in this notebook, she'd sound so desperate for me to not touch it? _I held it properly in my hands and glanced up at Bella.

Then I took a quick look at the future. If I opened her notebook, she would not speak o me again. So I decided against it.

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**i am grounded. please review!**

**Silver!  
**


	10. Shopping and That night's memory

**So sorry it took so long. I had a hard time with this because I couldn't find the right** **time to put in what you will read later.**

**Some of you were asking about the night her parents died. I think it's time to tell it.**

**Also here's the shout out for people who gave me an idea for this chapter and ones for the future.**

R2-D2106

ZAVACULLEN

October'sLily510

PeaceLoveTwilight1995

**Don't stop! There are really great ideas, but not all work with the theme of where my story will go. Don't be sad if you're not up here, You may still have a hidden idea I can use later. I might start putting polls up, but I haven't decided.**

**Enjoy, please!  
**

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"Let's go Bella!" She complained as she handed me my notebook. For a minute I thought she was going to open it. I guess I don't read people as well as I thought.

"Do I have to Alice!" I wined back. Let's see how she likes it. Wait she might not like that! "Sorry!"

"Sorry for what?"

"For mocking you?" It sounded like a question. She looked at me funny.

"It's okay! Jazz and Eddie do it sometimes too. Eddie also doesn't like it when I call him that." She stopped talking for a minute, then giggled again. Strange....

When I told her I was ready, Alice was standing in front of me she was almost jumping up and down from excitement. _I wonder, if I ran fast, could I get away…_ "I have ALL of my credit cards, you are going to look so good!"

"I pay for myself. How long are we going to be out? " I asked cautiously.

"ALL DAY!" She giggled. I was filled with dread, also with the tiniest hint of fear. Shopping meant crowds. Crowds meant more people to laugh at me. Alice looked at my wide eyes and misinterpreted their meaning. "Don't worry, Bella. I won't make you get anything you don't want to. And if you spend one cent of your own money on anything but food, you'll regret it."

Of course, she was only pretending to threaten me, but I didn't know that, so I took it to heart. No money. If I do I'll be punished. As I followed Alice out of the house, I noticed some of the family wasn't there. I looked questionably at Alice before I could school my features.

"Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Carlisle went out for the weekend. They'll be back tomorrow evening, before school and work hours." She told me opening a car door. I didn't even look at it, just got in the other side and put my seat belt on. Then she started the car and took off. Even after so many near death experiences, nothing has made my life flash before my eyes. Except for this. Driving way too fast for my liking.

After about thirty minutes of driving, we made it to the mall. Wherever that was.

We headed into our first shop. Alice picked out way too many short sleeves and I declined them. Then she disappeared for a few minutes before popping up again.

"Okay, Bella, take these and try them on." She handed me about five or so outfits. I finally nodded reluctantly and went into the dressing room. The outfits she picked out for me were indeed long sleeved. they were just way, way too tight for me. I wouldn`t put them on. Alice tried to convince me to through the curtain, but it didn't work. An hour and a half later we left the shop and I found nothing, Alice on the other hand found, a handbag, and a scarf…and sunglasses. I didn't know how she did it.

Finally we left that store. It took forever in there. If we didn't leave soon, I would start sweating. I though I was doing okay, but these last few minutes have been hell when I realized there were guys looking at us. Hopefully it was just Alice, but I could feel a few on me. That`s why I didn't model anything like Alice wanted me too. They would see me and laugh. I wasn't pretty like she was. She could make a paper bag look like a... a designer gown. With me beside her, she`s probably looking even more like a goddess.

Just when I thought the torture of a different kind was over, Alice pulled me into another store. Her hand was still cold, but it was more the grabbing I objected to. That just added to the pressure I've felt building up all day. Since I woke up, even. I didn't know how much longer I could stay here.

I turned to Alice just before she got me into the store and stood in front of her.

"Alice, please. Can we leave? I don't want to be here anymore." I didn't want to have to ask, it shows weakness. But I'd rather show that, then have everyone see me break down.

"But Bella, you've barely chosen anything. Sure you have the basic school items, but you need more clothes. I only have two bags for you. I I already have twelve! How can you leave with such a small amount of clothing to your name?!" Alice was explosive. She seemed to be upset that I didn't want a bunch of clothes bought for me.

"We've been here for almost four and a half hours. Why can't we leave?" I saw her look pointedly at my sparse two bags. I sighed. "Alright, I pick the store, get a few more outfits, then you let me leave. Okay?" I hoped a compromise would placate her.

She was silent, looking a bit dazed, for a nerve racking minute, then she nodded. "Choose your store!" She shouted like I was heading to a tournament. I pointed to Skate America. The only store that I felt somewhat comfortable in. At least, as comfortable in a crowd as I could be.

We entered the store and I headed straight for the jeans before Alice could get ahold of my arm again. I usually choose from the guys clothes for a looser fit, but knowing Alice, even in the short time I had been in her house, she would never let me get there. So I had no idea what size I was looking for. The thought made me sweat. What If I got the wrong size and they fell off me. Or were so tight, they ripped before I could get out of them. Everyone would notice me. But I needed to choose something. Fortunately, Alice popped up beside me and told me what great jeans I was looking at and pulled out a size saying they should fit perfectly. So I checked, hopfully, inconspicuously at the size and picked out a few other pairs in the same size. I also grabbed a couple loose sweaters I thought might be okay with her, too. She passed me a few tank tops, but I probably wouldn't wear them. Then armingh myself with about five grafic tees, I was off to the change room again. I was starting to feel a bit tired, but I figured I had to finish or Alice wouldn't let me leave the store.

So I tried on all the jeans first. They looked alright, I thouhgt, and were pretty comfy for girls clothes. Then I put my own pants back on and went for the tops. Just as I thought, Alice's chosen tops were too tight for me. Again. I put them aside and tried the tees. A little smaller than usual, but again, not too bad for girl's clothes. I already knew the sweaters would fit, so I didn't bother with those and picked up all the clothing. seeking Alice outside the dressing room, I put the tanks down on the table with everyone else's no's and stuck the hangers of my yeses on my left wrist, still looking around for Alice. I couldn't see her. Anywhere in the store. Where was she? Why wasn't she waiting like she did in all the other stores? I didn't have anyanswers, but what I did feel coming was an attack. No not a pinic attack. An attack of a memory. I didn't know which one it would be or what time it'll be from, so I needed to get out of the mall.

As quickly as I could, I brought my selections to the check out line, wishing people would hurry up. When I finally made it to the front seven minutes and forty-two seconds later, I asked the cashier if she could put my stuff on hold under 'Alice' for an hour or so. Then I'd be back to pick them up. I barely gave her time to agree before I was taking off, running as fast as I could without falling. It took me another two and a half minutes to find the exit and another one to get across the parking lot. I knew there would be forest eventually, but I needed to find it before it was too late.

_There!_ My mind shouted at me._ There are trees. A forest. HURRY!_

I ran now, not even caring if I fell and broke my neck. I feel the memory pushing at the back of my mind and knew I only had about a minute. When I thought I was far enough from anybody, I sank down in front of a large tree, then lay down on the mossy ground. It was coming, the worst one, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

_Flashback ****_

_"Bella, hide! Go, now!" mommy's urgent whisper sent me running. I had barely turned seven, but I understood something bad was about to happen. Or was already happening, since I felt the tension between my parents when the unknown car pulled into our driveway. It was the same one that followed mommy to the store. Maybe their little boy wanted to play. But then, why were mommy and daddy do worried? Maybe there wasn't a little boy and the person in the car wanted mommy or daddy instead. Well, I wouldn't let my parents be taken. But I was so scared, I kept running anyways._

_As I ran,- stumbling, tripping and falling up the stairs to get to mommy's room- I heard a tinkling crash from the first floor. At my mommy and daddy's shouts, I just knew someone had broken in. Living just on the outside of Seattle, all our neighbors were much too far to hear them break into our house. Or to hear us scream. I could only hope the bad people would just take what they wanted and leave._

_My one hope was crushed as I heard mommy yell for daddy and her footsteps running up the stairs like me. Then many more unfarmiliar ones. So I did what any other little girl would do. I hid under the bed. It reminded me of my first day of school. Grade one. I really didn't want to go._

_That last thought made me giggle. Until, that is, mommy crashed through the door and was pushed to the ground by an ugly man. I couldn't see very well, but I though his face was very ugly. I almost started giggling again, but then I heard him say stuff to mommy. I listened carefully._

_"Where is she?!" The man slammed mommy's head on the ground. He must be a very mean ugly person. Maybe he's mad because he's ugly. But, 'she' who? Oh, no! Mommy was crying, and she had blood on her face. I didn't really like blood much. I wanted to tell her to wipe it away, but I stayed silent._

_"I don't know, I swear it! Please!" I didn't understand why she said please. It really wasn't such a magic word. I know, I tried it on one of my dolls to make it talk to me and to come to life. It didn't work. Or maybe it was only a magic word when grown ups say it._

_"Tell me where she is, Bitch! If you don't tell me, I'll kill her in front of you, before you're killed!" He put his face really close to hers. Like, right in front of it. If I didn't have to pee so bad I'd tell the bad man not to enter mommy's bubble. But it was all his fault I had to go pee, anyway. I was going to squirm soon. Then mommy turned away from him. She had her eyes shut, like I used to, when the boogey man wanted to get me and was hiding in my closet. I think, somehow, she heard me 'cuz she opened her eyes and, even though it was dark, looked right at me. I could see my reflection in her eyes. I was crying too. She told me something with her eyes then. I was good at reading them, she was very expressive. This is what they said to me:_

_Live for me, baby girl. Even when you don't really want to keep going, when you just want to give up. Always keep going on because, whether you want to or not, you will find your hope wherever you end up._

_It was a lot to read but I knew, besides telling me she loves me, she wanted me to survive because she knew she wouldn't. Then she turned her eyes back to the man, who was still trying to make her tell him where I was._

_"She likes to hide in the basement sometimes. She might not be- ah!" She was broken off as I watched the evil man murder my best friend. I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from making noise. Mommy wouldn't want me to get caught, not when she got herself killed to keep me safe._

_When the man called who I call his murder buddies and led them downstairs, I slowly slipped out from under the bed. I was barefoot and could feel the blood, my mommy's blood, on them. But I ignored it. Adults weren't bothered by blood, and I wasn't a child any longer. Quickly and quietly I closed my mother eyes in respect and whispered goodbye with now dry eyes. Then I left the safety of mommy's room and headed towards the the top of the stairs. As I reached them, I heard the footsteps walk down, or stomp down, very slowly into our basement. I knew how crowded it was down there, with many hiding places, but it would only take them a few m9inutes, together, to realize I wasn't there. That mommy lied. I needed to hurry. Hanging tightly to the banister, I tip toed down the stair as fast as I dared with my clumsy legs. I had to be careful not to make any mistakes that could alert them to my presence sooner than later. I was at the bottom and only had a few more meters to go to get to the door. My step quickened, but there was a loose floorboard. It creaked. I stopped moving and heard the voices downstairs stop as well. Then they were running for the stair. I raced the last few steps to the door and pulled. The dead bolt was locked. I turned the knob. But the chain was on too and I couldn't reach it. I looked into the door windows and saw three faces in the reflection. Black spots swirled before me, as I couldn't seem to get oxygen into my lungs. Just before lack-of-oxygen knocked me out, I felt something warm slither down my legs._

_I wet my pants._

_~~~{Time passes}~~~_

_When I woke, I felt all warm. As if I was sitting in a luke-warm bath with cold air around me. I could also hear a dripping. Like the leak in our kitchen sink. Before I was even fully awake, I started to count. I could count **All **the way up to twenty because mommy always practices with me. One drip, two drips, three __drip, four__ drip. Daddy must have work people over, 'cuz I can hear men talking. Five drips, six drips, seven drips. And some footsteps. Eight drips, nine drips, ten drips... Ummm... Eleven! Eleven drips, twelve drips, thirteen drips. I could hear the drips really close to my ear. Why was water in my room? And isn't it funny that the men were talking about those things from church? The, uh, organs? Fourteen drips, fifteen drips, sixteen drip... I want to wake up all the way, then mommy can make her special Cement Pancakes! That's what daddy calls them. seventeen drips, eighteen drips... I gonna open my eyes now. Nine... teen..... drips......... NOOO!_

_My eyes widened as my breathe caught in my throat. Mommy and daddy were dead! Someone tied them above me by their ankles and wrists and they had but open cuts on their tummies. And the dripping. It was, it was their blood! I heard something screaming and wanted it to stop. Then I looked down at myself and saw what I was in. A tub. Filled with blood! I wanted badly to throw up. My throat was hurting, and it was then I realized it was me that was screaming._

_"NOOOO! Mommy, daddy! No! No, no, no, no, no! Mommyyyyyy!"  


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_  
I woke up violently, screaming loudly. I was disoriented. panting and holding tightly to myself, I pushed myself up. _How did I get here? When did I get here? Who brought me?_

I was lying in my own bed.

The last thing I remembered was sitting in front of a tree.

So how, exactly, did I get here?

Those were the questions I was going to get the answers too. Because I now needed to know them. Before it ends up being too late.

* * *

**So yeah. I hope that was good for you. If you liked it review. **

**They are the cookies I am no longer allowed to eat. Don't ask why.**

**Anyways, like I said, review and I'll try to get the next chapter out a bit quicker. Even though I am still grounded.**

**Love ya!  
Silver.**


	11. B&E: Bacon and Edward

**I hope you like this chapter, but I`m stll working on the lengths. **

**Sorry if it`s not very long, but with like, NO, computer time (when they KNOW I`m on it), It`s very difficult to get my imagination flowing. **

**I`m always nervous that I`ll be caught.**

* * *

I wanted to write down my suspicions in my private notebook, but when I went for it under my pillow it was gone.

"Where is it?! Oh, God, Oh no. I have to find it. fast!"

I was panicking. Throwing everything around my room, I kept looking.

My notebook was missing. I needed it. Too many feelings were pouring through me, I had to let them out.

I had never lost it before, always keeping it under my pillow. It just slipped my mind, being preoccupied with actually going to high school. Now that the day was coming in two days, scratch that, one day now, I can't seem to stop the dreams. And I know it was there, on my dresser, before I went to bed. Which means someone took it from my room. After I was asleep.

I knew it! The Cullens are not to be trusted. And I was ever so slightly, in tiniest bit, letting my suspicions and my distrust, be spftened from a blade point, to a sword's edge. Not very promising when I felt no different afterword, but there was, keyword being WAS, something that made me want to - trust them, that is. But it's gone now. Because I know exactly who took it.

I knew that gleam in Alice's eyes meant bad news, but when she calmly handed over my notebook to me before we went shopping, I thought, maybe she wouldn't be as hard to submit to as the other family's children. But I can't bother her right now, she's probably asleep in her bed, planning on reading it tomorrow. Like I'd let that happen!

Deciding to confront her in the morning, I took out a few sheets of printer paper she bought me and the art pencils that I'd need for school and sat at the desk. I was having a memory of the first home I went to at the age eleven. I'm surprised I remember it in such detail, after working so hard to forget. The first time I was violated.

I wasn't raped though, thank God for some small miracles. But I do remember, in vivid detail, where his hands were. So I let them out on paper. I outlined his man hand, and the part of my body it was on that I could see. Right above my hip. I was already filling out there. I hated it because it made them think of me.

I detailed the way he grabbed ahold of me, as he held me on my side.**(Picture link on pro.)** It was... degrading. Wrong. It left a hand shaped bruise on me. Along with many others. That one, it hurt the most at the time, though.

There was also the memory of a woman. I'm wasn't really sure who she was, only that, I didn't think she did anything bad to me. Maybe she was before the deaths of my parent, but I drew her because I didn't want to forget. Didn't want to forget the warm feelings I felt when I dreamed of her.

I had just finished the last part of the shading when my alarm went off. I started setting it to help me get used to waking up at a certain time. But it still gave me a jolt when it starts beeping.

I went to shut it off and placed my two new sketches under my pillow, to keep them safe until I get my notebook back. From ALICE! I will kill her! Figuratively speaking of course, since I would never voluntarily hurt another person. Even if they did see me lose my cool a few days before. And now that I think about it, that's probably why she took it. To find a reason for my behavior. Well, then it's a good thing most of what is in there I made pretty vague. It's more the hospital bills and papers, old prescriptions and new ones, the tally sheet of injuries recieved (though there's no name on it to tell who's injuries they are).

Another problem is I found a stash of picture that HE took of me during and after one of the visits. I stole them right before I left and put them in the back pocket of my book. If anyone saw them, I would have to leave. The pity, or the look that tells me they want to be next, are, a lot of the time, much, much more worse than the act itself. I needed to get it back before that happens.

After dressing quickly, I took my bag put an extra pair of clothes and a sweater in it, like always, in case I need to run. I left the room, heading down the hallway to grab breakfast in the kitchen. I don't like to, but I thought I remembered hearing that the house would be empty, so I felt a little more safe. But when I reached the Arched support of the doorway I paused.

Though, I continued to the refrigerator, I felt very nervous about being in there.

Edward, If I remembered correctly, was sitting at the Kitchen table writing something down on the paper set out in front of him. I pretended t o ignore him as I took out the eggs and bacon. I was going to make a plate of bacon and eggs. Cooking always calmed me, but instead I was jittery because I was trying to sneak looks at Edward.

Ever since I was kidnapped, I had trained myself to not miss any details, and because I had already memorized him, I worked on what he was doing.

So with that training, I took in the fact that he was writing music. And if the evidence was correct, not having an easy time with it. He seemed to be struggling with it and was erasing everything he did. But then, it's probably my fault anyways._ I guess it's a good thing I'll be gone soon._

I'll never know if what happened next was the cause of my own clumsiness, or just being jumpy in the first place, but the sound of my name from Edwards lips brought my feet right out from under me.

Normally, that wouldn't have bothered me, or been a problem. I was used to it. The difference between this time, and every other time, was the pan I was holding in my hand. The one with the hot oil from the bacon I had started cooking.

I was barely able to finish that thought. Then, I was on the floor; The pan flipping over me, sending hot oil and bacon all over my chest and part of throat. I had one of those moments where you feel disconnected to ask myself, _Why does this always happen?_ And then I felt the terrible burning pain. It hit me hard. As well as, me, most likely receiving bruises where the pan hit the right side of my ribs. But more importantly, I could feel the heat blistering my skin. I kept reassuring myself the blisters would heal. I could also hear someones voice shouting, but I was in too much pain to care.

That is, until I felt them lift me up and start walking somewhere with me. I forgot all about the pain then. Because this brought back all sorts of unwanted memories.

"Put me down!" I screamed at the person, who, upon actually opening my eyes, turned out to be Edward. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"You need to get to the hospital. I'm taking you there, now. Stop squirming." He spoke quietly, and I tried to listen, I really, really tried. I just have too much history.

"No! No, don't touch me! Put me down! Please, just- I- you have to- let... LET ME GO!" I was struggling and screaming. I may hay even dry sobbed too, but it seemed to do the trick. Either that or he figured out it wasn't, or I wasn't worth it. Because he put me down.

So ignoring the pain all over my body, I ran to the wall farthest from him and sank to the ground. Then I stared at him with terrified and pain filled eyes. He would obviously know why the pain was there, but I just blew my charade with the fear. Now he'll wonder why it's there. But I just couldn't make my self move.

And I wasn't the only one staring. He was doing some major looking too. Then he pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number. I don't think he knew I was still coherent enough to notice because he started talking so fast it was all just a buzz. A low vibration of a sound. Which added more questions to the What are they? questions. When he hung up, he looked at me again.

He spoke to me, telling me Carlisle was coming home to help me and not to worry. Like I cared, as long as they all stayed away from me.

Suddenly I realized I was right beside my room door. _If I could just, Reach my arm up, I could make it inside and take care of myself._

So I tried. I unwrapped my arms from where I had them around my body and made it look as is I was going to get up. Then I tuned the knob quickly, and was quickly pulled from my door by cold arms, sending my into another stupid, and very, very unwanted flashback.

_

* * *

_

**I know, A cliffie, right. Haven`t really given any of those yet.**

**The next chapter will be all about the flashbacks she has. **

**It may be a little confusing but I hope it`ll be somewhat easier to get with prior warning.**

**Your Buddy,  
Silver  
**


	12. First Foster

**So this memory isn't at all graphic. If you were hoping for it, well, you've got a wait. No this actually has a bit of happiness for her.**

**Then just when it gets... boring(?)... A twist!!**

**Read to find out my Zombies of Fanfiction!  
**

**Oh and for all the past Chappies I forgot: Disclaimer: A show of hand. Who really believes I own Twilight? No one? That's what I thought, home fry! But I do own Terra! You don't know her do you? Well then, I guess you'll have to read!  
**

* * *

"No."

"No? But, why ever not?" The sickeningly sweet voice of the social worker asked me.

"Because." Those were the two only answers I'd been giving for every question they asked me. And the ones that weren't 'yes or no' I ignored completely.

I have been a Child of the state for almost six months now, ever since the police found me in a drug bust from a anonymous source. I was now ten and a half.

When they found me, it had been two full days since I had last seen or been approached by any of my three captors. They hadn't even unchained me from the Table of Torture. Not that I could be move yet anyway. I had too many bones crushed by them.

After the first year, nails, scissors and other craft and carpentry items were no longer any fun. they didn't even make me flinch anymore. So they started heating metal and poking me with it. That got a rise out of my.

It was like they were branding me as theirs and I didn't like it. So the rise they wanted was one of anger, not pain. I had lost all feeling in my skin months before.

The week before I was found, they had come up with something new.

They didn't like breaking my bones because it would be harder to let heal. But I think they knew something was going to happen, so the broke my wrist. That was more painful because I had yet to numb the inside of my body. Like my bones and internal organs.

The next day it was a few fingers on each hand.

Then at one point during the week, I heard two of them talking about the third. Said he was dealing drugs on the side and needed to be stopped before it was too late. But then they got a call, which I later found out was the third telling them to get out fast. So they wanted one last "session" with me first.

I knew it would be the worst because they came in with something the never had before. Sledge hammers.

Of course, I didn't really know the name of it, I researched it later. They walked in slowly, and when they got to the table they had yet to take me off of the last few days, they swung. It was the worst kind of hell, with all the bones in my body being repeatedly hammered on.

I figured out they wanted my to die of the injuries or pain, but I then resolved myself to not giving them the satisfaction.

I set my will to live. And live without crying out. So with every blow; to my knee, my shoulder, my foot; I ignored and bit my lip to keep silent. It wasn't easy. And definitely not something I could've done without the previous torture put upon me, but I did it. Leaving my captors disgusted and angry.

But they left me alone.

And I spent the next four and a half, or five months, in the Seattle Hospital's Intensive Care Unit.

Oh, Joy! (Insert Sarcasm Here)

Now that I was out, they wanted my to agree to foster care. What are they , crazy? Like I want to trust some complete starger with my care. Like I want to be shifted from home to home. Like I wanted some couple to try and take my parents' place. Yeah, they are definately crazy. Insane.

But I knew I didn't have a choice, because after finishing my conversation with the stupid social worker, I was being introduced to my new parents. Of course, I was still in a wheel chair, so I couldn't run away. I still had another month or two until I was fully healed. Sort of. I would still need crutches and few casts on.

So, unfortunately, I was unable to put up much of a fight. And I wouldn't speak to anybody anyways, so they didn't know how badly I didn't want to go.

Twenty minutes later we (meaning my foster parents and I) were pulling in to a typical suburban house. Only it was twice as large because, apparently, they already had two or three other kids there.

That was all I needed. Other kids trying to be friends with me. But I was wrong.

When I got inside, with the aid of the man. We'll call him Sir, because that's what everyone else called him. Anyways, when I was pushed into the house, there was nobody around. I expected a bunch of kids playing tag, or video games. But there weren't any there. I looked up at Sir in question.

"Everyone is expected to be in their rooms by seven P.M. They are also supposed to have lights out by no later than nine. Taking in the fact that it is ten thirty, everyone is asleep." He smiled a creepy, but explainable smile as he said this. I thought it only looked so scary because it was dark. But I still didn't trust or like either of wheeled me towards the door by the basement steps and continued.

"You'll be taking the room down here until you can walk up the stairs on your own. But curfew is still the same and you need to keep quiet. Especially when we have house quests. Other than that, there's nothing else you'll need to know until morning."

He pushed me into the room, in the direction of what I could make out was the bed and shut the door behind me. It wasn't until I was alone that I realized how tired I was.

I fell asleep in the wheel chair.

* * *

I didn't really think I was asleep that long, but, at the slight whispered noises outside my door, I jerked up and awake.

I ignored the pain and protesting of my body's hurts and pushed myself onto the bed I was in front of. Right into the very back corner. I trained my eyes on the door. When the handle turned, I started to sweat.

The last time a door opened without my consent, I was nearly killed. How was I to know that wouldn't happen again this time? _I didn't._ So I stayed huddled in the corner of the bed. _The Bed, not my bed. I wasn't staying long._ And the door slowly creaked open.

Two tiny hands finished pushing the door open and a small head peeked though. On that head was the cutest pair of large blue eyes I had ever seen. They over shone everything else about her. She then shifted herself in quickly and closed the door behind her.

She peered into the darkness of the room and whispered, "Are you waked up yet?"

I relaxed tremendously at the teeny whisper, so I decided to answer with, "yes, I'm awake." Then I asked her, "Can you find your way to the bed?"

I could hear her feet moving a little, as well as her deep breathing. Only, she just couldn't seem to make her way towards the bed.

So I took out the penlight I had from the pocket of my bra, (no one ever looks there) and turned it on.

"Here," I started, "Follow the light, I'll lead you with it."

She okayed, with a surprising amount of trust for someone she doesn't know, and I saw her bare feet at the edge of the light.

Slowly, so I didn't lose her, I led the light across the floor.

* * *

Carlisle's POV

I was just finishing up some paperwork in my office, when my phone rang. I checked the caller ID.

_Edward. AKA- Mountain Lion_

Edward never called me at work unless there's an emergency.

"What is it, Edward?"

_"Bella's hurt."_

"Are you on your way here?"

_"No. She won't let me near her. She's backed herself up against the wall. There's no blood yet, But I think you should come home. She might have some third degree burns."_

"I'm leaving now. Try talking to her, gently, and see if it helps. But don't leave her alone. Try to get her into the living room or somewhere open."

_"I'll try."_

We hung up just as I made it out of the elevator. I stopped at the front desk.

"Matthew, I need you to hold all my meeting until further notice, as well as get another Doctor to fill in for me. I have a problem at home." I didn't wait for his answer before I was out the door and on the way to my car.

Once I was in and the car was started, I sped down the road, ignoring the safety laws. They didn't really apply much to me, or my family. I was more concerned with how Bella got burned and why she wouldn't let Edward near her. I hoped it wasn't an after affect of her being kidnapped. Because if it was, I'd have to invade privacy and find the reports on it.

I slowed slightly to turn into our very long driveway, and thought, _Be careful with her Edward. The no touching could be an after affect of her childhood._

I was inside in mere seconds, after parking the car. I heard my son call me from in the family room. Then I was there. I looked Edward, who seemed to be wearing a strained expression. Then I looked at Bella.

I could smell the burned flesh, though it seemed to be a liquid sort of burn. I could also see that Bella was no longer aware of what was happening around her. _What happened Edward?_

He turned to me fully before answering.

"After I got off the phone, I tried to think of ways I could get her into, well, here. We were in the hallway where her room was and she tried to get inside. You told me not to leave her alone, so I acted too suddenly. I pulled her back by her upper arms. She just sort of... Slumped. When I carried her in here, she had this blank look in her eyes and she still hasn't made any action or reaction since."

"Looks like we're going to have to wait her out."

* * *

That night I found my little sister. Or she found me.

Of course, she wasn't really my sister. That's just how much I'd come to love her in barely three months. See, she was just four and a half, but she had the mindset of someone much older. Kinda like I did. We spent the next two months just, _being_ with one another. We didn't even need to talk. It was just comfortable.

It may have taken most of the first month to fully trust her, but I did. She was my rock during the aftermath of my stormy time. She loved me after that first night talking. Sure it was only superficial conversation, but she enjoyed it as much as I did. She wanted to spend time with me. In fact, she reminded me a little of my mother.

When I told her that, it was a random thought. After I actually thought about it, it brought on a fresh wave of pain and sadness.

Another month it took me to finally accept my parents' deaths. But accept it I did. I understood there was nothing I could've done to change or stop what happened. And, though I did not wish for the pain that followed, I was a bit glad it happened. Because of it, I met Terra.

She was so sweet. Always talking non-stop about nothing. She drew me pictures, too. They were so childish, I would feel so touched when she gave them to me. I was only ten, but I felt like a proud little mother. Well, I was almost eleven. My birthday was coming and I wondered if I'd get a party. I hoped not. My last party was right before my parent... But I didn't think about it again.

I have noticed though, Sir and Ma'am were a little distant and watched us weirdly. I mean, they would barely notice any of us unless we disobeyed, or didn't make "curfew". The week before my birthday, the other two girl, Jessica and Lauren, who were also my age, were moved to another home. I didn't care. As long as I had Terra I would be happy.

Until that night. And I was never the same again. It was the first beating they gave me. But that wasn't what broke me. It was watching them. And having to watch as my sweet baby sister was torn to pieces and murdered in front of me. Like mommy.

And I was never the same. I was broken.

* * *

**(Here's a new twist.)**

Unknown POV

She was out there. I will find her. She belongs to me. I've always known it and so has she. They took her from me. Not on purpose. They didn't know we were meant to be.

But we won't be apart for long, beautiful. No, soon, very soon, you belong to me once again. And no one will ever tear us apart. No one can remove this bond we have formed. No one. Never.

* * *

**SO? What do ya think of it. Who's the obsessed? Why does he want her? If you want to find out soon tell me. And I might give more graphic discriptions of her first foster home beating, but am not surewhether to or not.**

**Now to that me for updating at 1:14 AM, give me Cookies and Hugs. They are reviews.**

**I**

**Want**

**A HUG**

**And COOKIES**

**For My**

**Food**

**Now!**

**I know. I'm greedy. But that's what I want for updates. Also how soon should her trust come, and who should she give it too? And who has her Notebook?**

**Idea, people!**

**Suggestions!**

**Love your very own,  
Silver! **


	13. Pan

**Alright, so some of you reviewers have made a good point. Therefore, I think it's only fair to give you some answers.**

_**avatarofdiscord**_ **- I know, they have been a little forced, but I wasn't really trying to show her being traumatic yet. You see, something happens that send Bella into something I doubt even you would expect. I hope you continue reading, but if the story just isn't doing it for you, I understand. As for Carlisle, well, him I haven't had much time to work on. But I'm going to, after the change in her. It'll be very quick and very drastic. You won't even see it coming.**

**As for the rest who might be wondering, yes Alice did see Bella's scars. But even a hyper Alice has scruples. She belives that when Bella trusts them enough, she will open up. She may even see it in a vision. IDK yet. She didn't ask b/c it would make Bella uncomfortable.**

**And_ PeaceLoveTwilight1995_**** - That idea about Esme is great. I think I'll use it. But I'm making sure to give you credit for being the first to give it to me. **

**Thanks to you both. Did you know I was up all night, unable to sleep?  
**

**And now, on to the story.

* * *

**Bella's POV

I came to slowly. It took a few minutes of moving my eyes around to realize I was in the family room. And that Carlisle and Edward were in the room with me. I sent my eyes to looking at the floor. The recent reliving of my memories reminded me how little people could be trusted.

Edward probably made me drop the pan on purpose, just to see me in pain.

"Bella," I flinched at the voice. I hadn't really heard Edward speak since the only time I did was right before I spilled. "Bella can you tell us what happened?"

I shook my head.

"Why not?" Carlisle asked me.

Again, I shook my head.

"You won't tell us?" They both asked.

For the third time, I shook my head no.

"....."

"Are you hungry? You didn't get to eat your breakfast." I wanted to die. My chest was aching slightly.

But I didn't respond at all.

"If you're hungry, you can tell us, Bella." Carlisle insisted. I had lost my appetite. Seeing my sister die again didn't really make me all too hungry. "We could make you... a sandwich?"

Once again I shook my head as the front door was sounded opening. It was Alice. Smaller, like Terra, I thought sadly. But Terra was a baby.

" Bella," I heard Edward start and decided that it would be okay to look at him. Of course that was before he said what he did.

* * *

Alice's POV

I saw the vision on the was back home with Jasper. After I saw it, I knew we needed to get home fast. I had to stop Edward before it was too late!

When we finally pulled up in the driveway, I knew I had only moment, so I left Jazz with parking the car and zipped up the steps. The second I stepped inside, I started shouting in my mind.

_Edward! Don't! Don't ask her that! You'll make whatever is wrong, worse. And If you do that I'll never forgive you and I'll break ALL your CDs. Yeah, you heard me right! All of them!_

When I was satisfied the vision had changed, I went to find my husband. He was waiting in our room, sitting on a chair by the window. He looked troubled.

"What's wrong, Jazz?" I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I could still hear Carlisle trying to convince Bella to let him see her burns.

"I can't feel her, Alice. There isn't any pain, no sadness, or even fear! How can I help her if she doesn't show or even feel her own emotions?"

"I hope, no I know, this will make you feel better. So I'll tell you, what I saw in our future with her, she showed a lot of emotions. And she was happy. The only thing I couldn't see was how she handled having scars. It would have to be accepted by her, not by the shifting of her emotions. So cheer up, because I can't have any _fun_ with a moody man!" I waggled my eyebrows and leered for his benefit.

We distracted ourselves, while Carlisle and Edward were trying to coax their little patient into treatment. So what if I sent a little nudge to be helpful.

_Use the Hospital threat!

* * *

_

Edward POV

How could I have been so stupid. I made Bella hurt herself. She could have been using a knife. And then what? I drink her dry? Murder her before she lives her life?

I can't change what just happened, but I had hoped we could help her with the now, in helping healing her burns. But even that she win't let us do! I tried to hear her thoughts, but once again, nothing. The only time I had been able to hear her thought was at times of heightened emotion. Well, what would have been that. She's not to keen on actually letting us see her emotion very often.

_Use the hospital threat!_ Alice shouted, before blocking me from reading her mind anymore.

The hospital threat. Well it wasn't really a threat, more of an emergency need. Carlisle didn't seem to want to bring her there yet. He kept him reason a secret. Even to me. I tuned back in to the family room channel and planned to make use of Alice's little push.

"Bella, I really need you to let me check your burns. They could get infected, or even need special treatment." Carlisle was still trying to convice her to let him doctor her. It still wasn't working. But hopefully the hospital will do the trick.

"Bella, if you don't let Car- _dad_ to treat you here, he'd have to bring you to the hospital." I reasonable explained. And head the huge reaction it had on Bella.

_NO! No hopital. Haspital. Needles. Pain. Much pain. White. Too much white. Smells like blood. No blood. NO MORE BLOOD!_ She was shaking wiildly, tuning her head side to side. I knew all of us could feel and hear her heartbeat racing. The she put her feet up on the couch she was on, pulled off her shirt and lain down. I turned away as quickly as I could, slightly embarrassed about her lack of modesty. But I was able to see enough to horrify me.

She had scars, crisscrossing and dotting her skin there was almost no area without them. And the ones that didn't have them were covered in healing bruises, many of them, if looking closely (for a human anyway), had the shape of a hand.

How could anyone do such a thing to another person? Especially someone as delicate looking as her. It was saddening. Which made me relize, that was probably the reason for not wanting to go shopping for clothes, or wanting Carlisle to check her over.

Most of the bruising was already a yellow-y green color. The rest of the bruises were a few dotted spots of purple around her ribs. How could we not know about this!? How she could have possibly hid something this painful from our resident empath is beyond me. I wouldn't have been able to do it.

_Edward!!_

Carlisle's shout startled me from my inner rambling. I looked at him. He was applying a salve made with Aloe Vera in it, on Bella's burns. Though, I tried to avoid looking at her actual chest. Bella was silent again, but it looked like Carlisle was finished for now.

_She's not going to have any remaining affects from the burns, they weren't as bad as we thought. But a lot of the scarring here will probably never go away. But that's no longer what I'm worried about. It's the scarring in her heart I'm wondering about and how deep it is._ He looked sad, but was tring to seem normal, I guess for Bella's sake.

_We'll try to keep acting normal, like we didn't see anything, but try not to touch her again. Both times one of you boys impulsively grabbed her, it seemed to set something off. So warn your brothers too. I'll be going back to the hospital, but we'll have to have a family meeting soon._

I nodded, then looked over to make sure Bella didn't notice. She was gone.

* * *

Bella's POV

The examination by Dr. Cullen brought back all the times I was brought in by the fosters to cast a broken bone. That was the only time I was allowed to go to the hospital. Not that I minded, i hated them. But it also made me think of Terra. And an old friend I hadn't talked to in a long time. Pan.

But before I could get him, I had to get away from these two men in front of me. I waited, looking at them for a minute, before figuring out they didn't even remember I was there. It was like... They were having a conversation in their heads! I hoped they weren't people with, like, superpowers. They'd be even more powerful.

I used their distraction with each other, to slip back to my room. Once I was safely inside with the door closed and the chair from my desk in front of it, I went to my tiny bag and reached all the way into the bottom, Ignoring the small pains my body was giving me and pushing them to the corner of my mind where no one goes. Finally I grasped something soft and plush. Pan.

He became my best friend after I was taken from my first foster home. He took the place of Terra.

I hugged him and sat on the edge of the bed and we rocked. Just rocked back and forth, trying to remember the happy times with Terra. But they were overshadowed with her death.

I wished they wouldn`t.

* * *

**Can I get some applause for updating quickly?**

**Also sorry for any mistakes in this or the last chapter. I was half asleep writing the first one and am still pretty tired now!**

**Also, Chocolate Chip Cookies and Oreos are my absolute favourite. But can you add some ,milk to wash it down??**

**Thank for helping make me fat!  
Silver**


	14. The girls

**Okay, so, I'm sorry I took so long to update. **

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: I'm betting on owning Twilight!**

**Alice: I wouldn't do that if I were you. *smiles innocently***

**Me: Why not? It's a smart enough bet!**

***Alice grins evilly***

**Alice: Because, if you own Twilight, I get to take you shopping everday for the rest of your life. **

**Me: NOOOO! How do I get myself out of this?**

**Alice: You can say it!**

**ME: FINE! *I don't own Twilight.* Happy?**

**Alice: Nope! I still get to take you shopping!**

**Me: What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!**

* * *

**Rosalie's POV**

Emmett and I just finished hunting, because we didn't want to kill, or _he_ didn't want to kill Carlisle's little human. But the atmosphere in the house, I could feel the gloom just as easily as Jasper and his emotional Barometer.

I was going to ask them what was wrong, but Emmett beat me to it.

"Why such long faces everyone?" His laugh boomed through at least the first two floors.

The three in the living room still sitting forlornly, staring at nothing, were Carlisle, Alice and Edward. Edward was the one to answer.

"I startled her when she was making her breakfast, she tripped, was covered in boiling oil, and was then, as Carlisle thinks, driven into a catatonic state of mind while she relived something. Then when she woke up I had to threaten her with going to the hispital to get her to let Carlisle treat her burns. Then she wouldn't answer our questions, and while Carlisle and I were talking, she disappeared.

"So it was all my fault." He finished with a dejected sigh. He was pathetic. His head shot up and he glared at me.

"What? You know it's true. Pining over a mere human. She'll get over what's bothering her, and then she'll ignore you like she does now. Now you don't have to wonder what'll if you'll excuse me..." I trailed off heading out of the room hoping to get to my room before one of them comes at me. Just as I head past the door she was staying in, I heard something.

Whispering was coming from the room. I decided to listen in, then I could gloat to them on how she was laughing at us behind closed doors.

"Someone took my notebook, Pan. It wasn't very nice. Did you see who took it?"

There was a pause. "No I guess you wouldn't. It's too bad. I need it back. Remember what happened to the Morgan's boy? How he thought it was funny to read stuff from it in the middle of class?... Yeah, and he had that accident... No you should remember, you were there. When he fell off the Jungle Jim and broke his ankle... You remember now! And he also had a sprained wrist and needed twelve stitches on his arm. They said I did it. But I don't remember doing it. I never play on the Jungle Jim. You cold get hurt."

Another long pause, and Edward had heard her through my mind and was with the rest of the family beside me.

"Who's she talking to?" They asked together. I shrugged and listened harder.

There was a large and eerie silence. When the doorknob was turning, it startled all of us.

"What?." The voice of hers was hard and cold.

Alice was the first to speak this time.

"We just... wanted to see if you were hungry. Do you want..." She was actually cut off.

"Sure you did. Next time you go spying, stop talking and make sure you don't stay too long."

The door was slammed. We were shocked.

* * *

**So If you haven't noticed there have been a few changes. She no longer has a multiple personality disorder, but she does still black out and do things she doesn't remember from time to time. **

**Silver!  
**

**Feed me.**

**Click the button.  
**


	15. NEW Frozen literally

**VERY IMPORTANT A/N!!!!!!!!!!**

**I very sincerely apologize for taking almost a year to update. I'm sorry to say that I had lost my muse. The bear scene made it almost impossible for me to continue. I have done some chapter editing. Nothing but this one chapter, so don't worry about going back to re-read any of the others. If you remember what happens at the beginning, just head to where all the backslashes are.**

**I promise to try and update more!!! Don't hate me too much!**

**Disclaimer: **

**Misterious man: Where's the money?**

**Me: Weeeeellllll..... I don't seem to have it...**

**Man: YOU. DON'T. HAVE. IT???!!! (get's picked up by shirtfront by man.*me squeaks*) Then give them back!!**

**Me: But-**

**Man: Now. Then say it out loud! *said in scary voice***

**Me: Fine. Here.... *is given pointed look* Alright, alright!! I don't own Twilight. Happy? (sees man nodding) Good**

**(Enjoy)**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

As the room came into focus, I realized I must've fallen asleep. When the recent events came rushing back, I winced, once again feeling the pain from my stomach. I was also hoping there wouldn't be too much fuss over it.

Who am I kidding. Why would there be? It's not like I matter or anything. I'm only a stupid foster kid.

There was a knock on my door. "Bella, may I come in?"

It was Carlisle. I hope he didn't want to check my burns again. He might take a closer look at them and see behind the redness. But I agreed to let him in.

"Bella," he started, opening my door. "Are you okay?" I nodded. "Are you sure? Can I talk to you?" Narrowing my eyes I wondered why, but nodded again, more cautiously. "Would you mind if I asked you some questions..... about your past?" My eyes widened and I went into panic overdrive. Was I talking in my sleep? Did I say something loud enough for them to hear? Did I scream? Has someone told him about what happened? Does he know ALL of it? If he knows, does his family? If they do know, why do they still want me here? I couldn't focus on anything. I could feel my heartbeat quickening, but couldn't concentrate enough to slow it down. I was now breathing in gasps, short and shallow gasps. I knew if I didn't stop I'd hyperventilate. I had to think of something else. Anything else. There were vague voices all around me, but I couldn't her them, just a buzzing.

Terra, think about her!... No , that's not working! Something else, Mom and Dad.... NO!!! Anything. Flowers, birds, trees, sunshine, rain!!!! It's not helping. Nothings helping. I can hear them a little more clearly, but only because it's my name.

"Move out of the way, guys. Now!" SMACK!!

Ow.

Everything snapped back into focus. The first thing I see is Rosalie's face near mine. I recoiled from her.

She slapped me.

Now I knew who to avoid the most.

Now I knew the novelty of ME had started to wear off.

Now was when they be more likely to punish me.

Now was having back reality.

Now was my life.

Now was pain.

Now..... Well, I ran out of now's, but I knew they were there.

"Bella, what happened?" I think it was Edward who asked me that. I didn't answer. "Fine, but you'll have to tell us eventually."

Everyone but, as I now saw, Alice left. I stared at her in annoyance, hoping she'd get the hint and leave.

"Why do you have a stuffed animal on your bed?" I was now staring in, not annoyance, but confusion. Stuffed animal? Me?

"What stuffed animal?" She stepped in front of the bed and picked up stuffed Koala bear....

_"Bella, guess what?!" Terra screeched at me, running from Ma'am and Sir's van._

_"What is it Terra?" I asked her. She was so cute. I wish she was my real sister. Then I would've know her for a long, long time. Like, forever._

_"Look what I got you! And I got it wif my very own Toonie, Too!" __**(A toonie it two dollars in Canadian Currency)**__ Terra had the biggest smile on her face, it would probably disappear behind her ears soon. Then she pulled the cutest little bear from behind her back and held it out to me. "Happy Birfday! You're ten years old now!"_

_I took it gingerly from her hands. I could feel my eyes well up with tears, but I refused to let them fall. No one had ever given me a gift since my seventh Birthday. The same day that they - stuff happened. _

_  
_"She's my friend." I whispered sadly.

Alice handed me back the stuffy. I took it a carefully placed it on my bed.

I looked pleadingly at Alice. I shouldn't be asking, but I needed this too much too care about the consequences. I needed to be alone. Walking somewhere. "I need to walk. Please?"

I hoped she understood, but I didn't wait for her answer. Picking up my bag, which somehow made it's way to the bathroom door, and left the room.

I opened the front door and was about to step out, when I was asked by Alice to be back before dark. I nodded, not really listening, but expecting her not to care. And I walked past the first line of trees.....

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//////////

Time passing

////////////

////////////

////////////

...... _Where am I_? My first thought. Because I didn't know where I was at all. The last thing I remembered was entering the forest. My next thought was _Why am I soaking wet?_

And I was. Looking down I could see that my clothes were sopping, and my hair was almost drenched as well. I was gettiing scared.

I didn't remember anything. I could have killed someone and jumped into a pond to erase the evidence! Oh God! I spun in a circle, trying to get a clear headed idea of where I ended up, but couldn't tell. Everything looked the same! Trees, trees and more trees. Oh and a couple of trees. It was getting dark and cooling down fast. If I didn't get back to the Cullen's house soon, I'd probably freeze to death.... _Maybe that isn't such a bad idea...._

No! I am not , maybe I am, but if I was going to die it would be on my own terms, not ones I didn't remember. I will not give up. Not yet. I've never given up, even after almost eleven years of pain. I'm not going to start now. I ramled on in my head , until I realized that I was taking up too much of my remaining life. If I didn't find my way out I really would die, and even if I felt minorly suicidal, I didn't really want to die. Even though I didn't know it yet.

I looked up at the sky, hoping to see some of the moon. Of course, luck never was on my side, so why should it switch now? No moon. But there were some stars. In the few books I've been allowed to read over the years, I had read that the Northern star was one of the first to come out as well as the brightest, so if I found it, maybe I could find my way back. Carefully I stared at the stars, trying to control my shivering. _Northern star, Northern star, how I wonder where you are. Hey! I know that rhyme from somewhere.... Wait, ... No.... Focus! Need to find the.... The Northern Star!_ I finally found what I hoped to be the right one and felt like doing a happy dance. Then I remembered I don't dance. That I barely even talk, and went to walk forwards. Only, my feet weren't moving. neither were my legs. It may have been summer, but nights in Forks must really get cold to freeze me up so quickly. Then, the panic started to set in. I couldn't move. _I couldn't _move_!_ At all. I couldn't even close my eyes. They started watering from the cold, and I was close to tears, after so long a time I held them away. This was not the way I wanted to go!

"Bella."

I wanted to make it out of foster care and get away from people. I was planning (that's right, _planning!_ ME!) on earning enough money to buy a secluded peice of land and house, to live out my days as a recluse, with only the very little memory I have of my parents!

"Bella!" Stop calling my name when I'm talking to my panic stupid voice! "BELLA!!"

"Shut up, Emmett! I'm THINKING AT MYSELF!" I shouted. Then the scenario hit me. Oh GOD! "Emmett..." I whispered in fear. _Dear God, I just raised my voice at the biggest teenager I've ever known or seen! Hell I _YELLED_ at him! He has a reason to hurt me now... And I was ignoring him, too!_ I could feel the darkness, pulling at me as I went into a full blown panic attack. I didn't hear Emmett calling my name and having a mini panic of his own as my frozen knees started giving out. Nor did I feel him catch me and start speeding through the forest to get me back to the house, as I had already passed out completely.

/////////

////////

Time passing....

////////

////////

".....waking up..... not long..... 30 seconds...."

Slowly I could feel Conciousness returning to me. I desprately needed to open my eyes and asses my surroundings and find a quick exit, but they didn't seem to be very obedient at the moment. Then more sensation began returning and my entire body was one big ache. It was once again warm, but an ache. I wanted to know where I was but the mumbling voices were making it hard to concentrate. And with the feeling in my body returned, fear was once again at the forfront when I found my body unable to more. I could feel the ties on my wrists and ankles, knew what they meant, and prayed I was wrong. And my heart beat was beating unhealthily fast.

"Bella, calm down. We're not going to hurt you. We're untying you now. You were a danger to yourself asleep. We had no choice." One of the voices said. I still cound't pry my eyes open, but could feel the bond being loosened. The very second all the bonds were gone, I was curled against the back of whatever I was lying on, despite my acheing body's protests.

Then finally.... _Finally_ my eyes allowed themselves to open. All the Cullens were watching me with sypathetic, fearful, concerned and pitying look. I couldn't stop shaking. _They tied me down.... If they did it once they _will_ do it again. No doubt about that._

"What...." My thought proccess changed. They were probably waiting for me to wake up before they tortured me to death, so I was damn well getting my answers first. "Why did you... tie me... down?" I whispered in an underused voice.

"Bella-" Carlise took a step forward, but stopped seeing me flinch. I pushed myself closer to the bed's headboard. He started again. staying away. "Bella, This is going to be hard but... It's time for you to tell us about your past."

* * *

** I know, I know! I'm an evil, diabolical (insert your choice of vulgar words here). Of course, I can't really help that much.**

**Anyway! In the next chapter, Emmett has a line that will be an insult to the "Joes" but also humorous. So..... as vigilant readers and reviewers. Give me you're best inserts to this sentence:**

"Those_______________________________________, I hope they_______________________ because if they'don't I'll personally________________________!"

**Create seriously, but have fun as well. It's the tension breaker of the entire chapter. My fav's will be shouted out at beginning authors note.**

**Still lovin' Y'all  
Silver**


	16. Know your secrets

**Hey everyone. Thank you to everyone who has been patient enought o stick with this story fo as long as you have.  
I also know know that I've taken a really long time to update. I was having alot of trouble with this next chapter. Not  
****because it was hard to write, but because I had to think long and hard about what to do with one of the elements of this  
story.**

**THIS IS IMPORTANT. Please read.**

**I have decided to remove her multiple personality disorder. It made things way too complicated and much less real. I'm  
sorry to those who enjoyed that, but the story wouldn't make it much farther without it.**

**This song (most of it) really relates to this chapter.**

Secret by Firewater

Well everybody talks but nobody understands

And everyone takes just as much as they can

But at the top of the stairs theirs a room with a key

Because I've got a secret inside of me

And no one can take that away

And everybody's lost and Nobody's found the path we should walk

across this treacherous ground

But I go where I like and I do what I please **(not so much this line)**

Because I've got a secret inside of me

And no one can take that away

And everyone comes and everyone goes

When your number comes up nobody ever really knows

But my eyes are wide open and my conscience is clear

Because I've got a secret inside of me

And no one can take that away

Seems like everything I do, everything I pray

everything I try, every single day, only seems to come out backwards for me

Meanwhile everybody laughs, everybody lies, everybody lives, everybody tries

Just to make it through another day

And if everybody just shuts up maybe I could hear myself scream

Because I've got a secret inside of me

And no one can take it away

* * *

_It's time for you to tell us about your past._ **~Previously~**

"What?" I couldn't believe they wanted me to tell them. No. Never.

"Please. You don't have to tell us all now, and not all at once. Take your time and let it all out, little by little." Carlisle corrected himself. I could not understand how he could be so calm. Staring at me with those strange, unblinking golden eyes.

I looked away, thinking. _Aside from that one secret I know they're hiding, there doesn't seem to be any hidden agendas in this family_. But I couldn't say it. What had happened, I will never say it out loud. Never will that long torturous tale come from my mouth. The only time that story has been repeated was to my Notebook. I saved my money for a while just so I could buy that 500 page leatherbound friend. And even then there were things I only hinted at, as I was unable to think about them, much less write them down. I wouldn't make it through second telling. Not that anyone has ever aked. They just waited for me to feel safe before adding another few pages. The book's almost filled and soon I'll need another. By next week even. If, that is, I can even find it.

No, I could never tell it to them. But maybe... If I could find the book, they could read it.

"You could... Look... Look through my... N-notebook. I can't tell you, but you're the nicest, most undemanding family I've lived with. You've given me so much. Not just time. And I do want you know." I looked down at my hands.

"Would you'd like one of us to retrieve it for you? What does it look like?" Carlisle asked politely.

"It's white leather but-" I separated my hands helplessly, "I don't know where it is."

"I do" A quiet voice injected, and everyone stared.

"Esme?"

"Yes. I was cleaning the house and I saw it half under the couch. It looked like one of Edwards so I put on the pile of all his others. If I had known it was yours I would have left it on the desk in your room. I'm so sorry , Bella." She explained and apologized sheepishly. "Edward, please go find it and bring it back here for Bella."

"NO!" My hands shot out instinctively as if to stop him from going.

"Why not?" Carlisle enquired lightly.

"Don't bring it back here. When you find it, just read it. I don't want ot know when you are, because I'll be thinking about it too much. Just do it before I change my mind." I really didn't want to see the digust in their eyes when they find out what I'd done. What I let them do to me. That I didn't fight back.

"Of course Bella." He turned to the rest of them as another thought and idea occurred to me. "Edward, get the notebook please. The rest of you, to the dining room."

"Oh and Carlise?" I looked him in the eye as he turned to me. "For my secrets, you owe me yours."

And I watched with hooded eyes as they filed out one by one.

* * *

**Okay I know this is a short Chapter, but I'm starting the second half in a sequel, called Healing. Plus I'm starting a new story called Secret Past.**

**So anways please review. The first chap. of the sequel will be them reading and viewing the note book. I'll be posting links to photos, so when it's up, you'll find them on my profile.**

**Happy Writings Everyone And Cookies to All  
Silver**


	17. IMPORTANT AN

**Hey everyone. No this not an udate, But it is something you'll need to know.**

**My sequel is being adopted. I know, it's sad, but I have no time to write anymore and I don't want to not ever have it out there. So the autor's penname is lizzyswan So I hope she does it justice. If not, maybe at another time in the future I'll try and write my version of the sequel and name it something else.**

**Your writer friend,  
My Silver Angel Wings**


	18. Sequel!

I have decided to write my sequel. I encourage all my reader to also read the version by Lizzyswan (by the way, It's the one who's written four stories). I'd like to thank all who are religious enough to read this Authors note, because I was unsure of how many had me on Author Alert.


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